Name change – "it's important to me that we/our family have the same last name"

posted 2 months ago in Traditions
Post # 2
2900 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

So….i would be Sara Sara? I would probably suggest creating a new last name together.

Post # 3
125 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: November 2018

I wouldn’t change my name in that case. I know people that were given the same name as their last name by their parents. I think it’s weird, it would bother me.. Either way, if the person that ends up with the same first and last name isn’t bothered by it or if they even like it, well then, they have no reason to not do what they want… 

Post # 4
236 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: February 2016

If it were important to me to keep my last name and important to my hypothetical FI that we have the same name, the best compromise would be for him to change his last name.

ETA: I used to work for a woman who hyphenated her and her husband’s very similar names, literally one letter different – think Mrs. Johnson-Jonson.

Post # 5
6945 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2016

I would ask him to change his last name or have us come up with a new one together.

Having the same last name as my husband is not important to me. To me, it doesn’t make you any more or less of a family. If it was important to him that we have the same last name then he can be the one to hassle with all name change crap.

Post # 6
508 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2016 - Wedgewood Las Vegas

I would still change mine to his if that was the case.

While not entirely the same thing…but I did have an interesting time with my name change.

His last name sounds exactly like the town name where we live and work in. Just one letter difference in spelling. You can imagine the confusion that it causes. We just have fun with it. 🙂

I changed it anyways despite the potential for confusion/odd looks because it was important to me that we share the same last name, and it was important to him that I take his last name as well.

Post # 7
2761 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

I would come up with a new name or have my husband take my name in that case. You could always create a blended name of each of your last names. 

Post # 8
1564 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

If the primary concern was just having the same last name, but one of the parties involved would end up with two of the same name, in our case we would have picked a new last name together, or my husband would change his last name to mine. 

Post # 9
317 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2017

The whole family still has the same name if he changes his name too.

Post # 10
516 posts
Busy bee

I know people who have done it, and it never ceases to be odd. Agreed that I would want my husband to change his name to my last name in that case, if the whole family not having the same last name truly bothered him. Otherwise, I’d hang on to mine and not worry too much about it. 

I’m taking my fiance’s last name because I like the way it sounds with my first name more so than the one I have, but if I wasn’t “trading up” on last names, I wouldn’t bother. 

Post # 11
411 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2016

I agree with previous posters. If the actual concern is having the same family name then the husband should have no issues taking his wife’s name or coming up with a new name together.

Post # 12
8652 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

I opted to change my name for the reason in the title of this post. But if FI’s last name had been the same as my first,  I would have most likely just gone by my nickname, kept my name, or hyphenated. 

This assumes FI is attached to his name and would not consider changing it. 

Post # 13
78 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: May 2018

I think it really depends on what his last name is. It could very well sound lovely and melodic. I agree with other posters that if it’s thattt important, he could take your last name. But I only personally one know man to date who has done that. He’s a pretty vocal feminist. And coming up with a whole new last name would break the very heritage that one might be trying to preserve with taking his last name for tradition sake. That’s a puzzler, Bee. I guess my vote would be take his name if you want. Maybe going forward, you could work your middle name into introductions, “Hi my name is Sara Lynn Sara”.

Post # 14
332 posts
Helper bee

curiouslystrong :  I would either have him change his last name to my last name or have us pick a new last name together. For me, having the same first and last name (i.e. Kelly Kelly or Madison Madison) would be too unreasonable and ultimately ridiculous.

Post # 15
1126 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2017

curiouslystrong :  I would suggest that my fiancé take my last name instead of me taking his. We would still be using a family name rather than picking a new one, so it would have more sentimental value to us, and we would still feel like a united front 🙂

(I’m not saying that you have to have the same last name to be a united couple, so please don’t take it that way. It was really important for my fiancé and I to have the same last name because we personally felt more united, I completely respect that it’s not that way for everyone. And for what it’s worth, he is actually taking my last name, and it was 100% his idea)

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