- 5 years ago
- Wedding: April 2012
Hi Bees! So, I just thought I would share my latest headache to hopefully help some of you avoid a similar situation…
I got married back in April and have yet to change my name because I am actually quite uncomfortable with the idea of it, no I’m not a feminist and it has nothing to do with me not liking my husbands last name. To be honest it almost feels like a loss of identity, and truthfully I’ve never been a huge fan of my first name (except it sounds good paired with my last name) and really don’t like my middle at all name but have always loved my last name. Don’t get me wrong, I like the fact that taking my husbands last name will symbolize us becoming a family, but at the same point I don’t want to lose that with the family I already have. So why change it, you ask? Two reasons; I want the same last name as my future kids, and my husband feels very strongly that not taking his name is a sign of disrespect or that it’s “a way out” if we ever get divorced (neither are even remotely true!). But, as a new full time resident to Las Vegas I figured this was the perfect opportunity to take care of it since I will be required to get a new drivers license anyway.
Unfortunately for me my husband is just as stubborn as me, so I set out to find a compromise that we could both live with. If you are going through a similar situation then you probably came up with the same options as I did:
Hyphenating; for me, I don’t even want to consider this. I don’t care for how it looks, it’s so long and you are supposed to legally go by the entire thing.
Having two last names without a hyphen, for whatever reason this doesn’t bother me quite as much as with the hyphen because I feel like you could use either or in your daily life, but worry that it will be confusing and is also a very long name.
Adding your maiden name as a second middle name; It would be a way of keeping my maiden name but only having to use it when I want and keeping my middle name (I know I don’t like it, but it is a family name so I feel a bit guilty about ditching it completely) but again, it would be a very long name when you did need to write the entire thing out.
Dropping my current middle name and taking my maiden name as a middle; This would allow me to keep the name I care most about (maiden last) and drop the one I care least about (middle). I would be able to go by the whole thing when I wanted and it would actually be a shorter then my current full name. Think Hillary Rodham Clinton.
So, I’ve thought long and hard and I decided I wanted to drop my current middle name and take my maiden name as my new middle. Of course, nothing good in life is ever that easy. I spoke to the social security office and they said basically come in with my ID, current SS card and my certified marriage license and I shouldn’t have any issues. Next I spoke with the dreaded DMV and thats where things took a turn for the worst. Apparently in the State of Nevada the DMV will not accept your maiden name as a middle name, even if it is printed on your social security card and is considered your legal name. They also won’t let you add it as a second middle or last name, the only option they give you if you insist on keeping it is to hyphenate it. So, stubborn as a mule and determined I began brainstorming ideas of how I could cheat the system to get what I want.
On the Nevada DMV website it states that in order for a new resident to get a Nevada DL they are required to bring in their current DL, SS card and EITHER a birth certificate OR passport. This got me thinking. Las Vegas is only two hours from the state I used to live, where I hold my current license and where my family resides. I came up with a plan that I thought would be fool proof, Drive back to my home town and apply for a SS card in my new name, have the name changed on my current license (they, like most other states have no issue with taking your maiden name as a middle name) then apply for a passport with my new name on it, bring all of that to the Nevada DMV and apply for a new license with ALL of my information listing my name as FIRST MAIDEN MARRIED. Fool proof, right? Wrong. I called the DMV to make sure and acted as if I was moving here and already had all of the name change stuff taken care of. Nope, they said they still couldn’t do it. They would still require me to bring in my marriage certificate, even tho the name change would have already been taken care of in a completely different state and because my birth middle name is listed on there it still isnt possible.
Who would have thought keeping both names would be so hard? At this point I’m pretty sure the only options left are to suck it up and take my husbands last name, or to completely hurt him by not taking it all and get over the fact that I would never have the same last name as my future children. So, if your a Nevada bride and this is something you were considering doing or if you have already done it and are planning to move to Nevada… good luck, you will need it! If any of you have any advice or ideas of how to still keep both last names that the state of Nevada might be ok with, please let me know. 🙁