(Closed) Name change options/opinions– what would you do?

posted 6 years ago in Traditions
Post # 46
Member
47 posts
Newbee

A lady I used to work with never changed her name, but she said that when she would volunteer at her daughter’s school, the kids would call her by her daughter’s/husband’s last name and she just went a along with it. I knew several kids growing up who had mom’s who didn’t change their name to their husband’s last name and no one seemed to care. If/when you have kids, why should it matter? You’re still married, you’re still a family. The kids are just gonna call you mom anyway, not Mrs. Yourlastname. 

Post # 47
Member
27 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: September 2016

I’m in the debate on name, but mine more or less works hyphenated.  It’s long and slightly obnoxious, but that applies to my last name on it’s own.  Five more letters doesn’t make it worse.  Which however means I could just stop the constant questions on spelling and hideous pronunciation if I go to just his LN.  

The only problem is my FN his LN is really A heavy, nine letters with four As.

But that being said, I don’t have a huge attachment to my last name.  I really don’t.  Now, if I had to change my first name, I’d be rioting.  

 

Post # 48
Member
2327 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

View original reply
gamergirl2016:  It’s not your fiancé’s decision what you do with your name – it’s entirely your choice.

Post # 49
Member
282 posts
Helper bee

It’s very much personal preference, and every couple is different. I know of a man who has taken the woman’s last name, because they have kids and he didn’t want them to take his rather offensive last name (a variation of the word bastard…). My parents had the same dilemma, and they nearly decided to both take his mother’s maiden name, but decided on his last name to simplify. They’ve request that I hyphenate, but it’s just too many letters and people tend to drop the second name, and I want to stand as a unit with my husband. I’ll be taking his last name.

Post # 50
Member
63 posts
Worker bee

I struggled with this too. A LOT. I decided to take SO’s last name, because it was important to him. Also because in our culture technically I’m expected to take SO’s first name as my last but we both want to start the tradition of having one cohesive last name for future generation purposes (seriously, family trees are a pain). 

A rose by another other name …

Post # 51
Member
37 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: December 2014

When I got married the first time I was adamant about not changing my name. This time I changed it, not because DH pressured me, but because I wanted to. I bumped my maiden name to a second middle name so it’s still there if I want to use it for work or anything. My advice is do what makes you happy.

Post # 52
Member
438 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2016

I originally was just going to hyphonate until I realized that my name would be even longer than it already is in terms of syllables, so I decided to just take my fiance’s name altogether. I also have more personal reasons for wanting to change my name that I won’t go into here because I don’t want to bring anybody down. 

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