Post # 1
My fiancé really wants me to change my last name to his, but I just feel weird about it. On the day we got our marriage license, we had to indicate whether there would be a name change or not. We had a twenty minute discussion and I gave in because I saw how much this means to him. However, I have been thinking more about it and I totally regret it! I don’t know what to do or if I can even do anything about it! I think I can just not change my name on my other documents, but the marriage certificate will not match any of my legal documents. And most of all, I don’t want to upset him… But I also want to make myself happy too. What should I do?
Post # 3
I think that the way you feel about your name is more important than the way your partner feels about it. Also, I’m not sure if a new name on the marriage license & no other docs will change anything, but if it does, you can ALWAYS change it.
Post # 4
do what you feel is right he will understand. I’ve been questioning name change as well I told my FI it’s feels like i’m saying good bye to a whole part of me, plus we still live right next to my home town so it’s going to be so weird when people see me and call me by my last name and I have to correct it and tell them I have a new last name. It just seems weird to me, plus I asked my FI if he would change his last name to mine and he said no. So if I really wanted to keep my last name he couldn’t say much cause he isn’t willing to change his. In the end I am going to take his last name, I know I will still be the same person and that by not having my last i’m not going to loose myself. So do what you feel is right and if he really has an issue with it ask him how willing he would be to take you name and i’m sure the tides will change a little!
Post # 5
I would talk to him first so you two can reach some agreement that you are both okay with. If you decide not to change your name, you might need to get a new marriage license before getting married so you don’t run into problems later with your other documents (I’m not completely sure though, I’ve never heard of you saying if you are changing your name on the marriage license).
Post # 6
If you aren’t getting married until 2011, can you actually get a marriage license yet? Ours was only valid for three months.
I had to put my name change decision on my marriage license as well. But we’d already made the decision for me to change my name well before we got the marriage license.
What is your rationale for keeping your last name? Are they all things that will still be important to you when you start having children together? What will their last name be? Do you know any older couples with two different last names? Maybe talk to those women about it before making a final decision.