- 6 years ago
- Wedding: September 2011
Some of you may remember I posted a thread a few months ago about it being after my wedding and now not being sure I wanted to go through with the name change. Most people said you get used to it and no big deal, happy they changed it, etc. I went ahead and changed it, since that had always been the plan and I figured I’d adjust. Except I haven’t adjusted at all, and am really wishing I had kept my old last name.
I told Darling Husband tonight how I was feeling, and he threw out all the typical examples about not confusing people and having them use one last name for the family and matching our kids…and I told him it’s not that confusing, we’d still be married and our future children would still know who their mother is, it’s not I’d argue if people referred to us as ‘the XYZ family’. But he was pretty thrown by me changing it and now kinda wanting to change it back, and I do understand why. I worry it seems like insulting for me to take his name and then change back – not to mention super confusing for my coworkers and people who do refer to me by my last name. But I just don’t like having a different last name and don’t feel like I will ever get used to it or identify with it.
And I don’t really like the hyphenating option either – in theory I like it, but in practcie not so much. I’m finishing my degree to become a teacher, and I just can’t imagine being called the hyphenated name by my students, it’s a mouthful and they sound kinda weird together.
I know it’s an unusual situation, but has anyone else felt this way? General advice on what you’d do in my situation is also appreciated!