(Closed) Name Change Struggle PLEASE help!

posted 3 years ago in Names
Post # 2
Member
3777 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

Why don’t you just make your maiden name your new middle name? You can still legally have the same last name as your husband, but you will still retain your maiden name too. 

Post # 3
Member
3484 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2016

Have you considered dropping your middle name and going by all three? Like Hilary Rodham Clinton or Kim Kardashian West. That way you can choose to go by all three, but when it comes to doing things like a store clerk looking up your account, it’s simpler. I grew up with a mom whose name was hyphenated and have always thought it was more trouble than it was worth, and she would agree. You can be a feminist with any name in the world.

But I will say that Alexander-Dobbs sounds best, even though it does imply that your maiden name was Alexander. But then, who cares? Dobbs-Alexander is still pretty easy as far as hyphenated names go. Long, but simple. The names work well together.

Post # 4
Member
8951 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

edobbs87 :  I’m a feminst and had no trouble taking my husband’s name. Most people’s maiden names came completely down the male line. How is it more feminist to keep the name you inherited from generations of men, rather than choose your own?

Post # 5
Member
318 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

I’ll be taking my fiance’s surname, mainly as I want us to have the same name and we didnt want him to take mine, as my maiden name is in fact my two parents surnames hyphernated together (which I decided to change to when i was 16) and over the past 5 years having such a long name makes paperwork and other things more difficult that they need to be and my fiance’s surname is bennett which no one spells wrong and works well with mine. 

Post # 7
Member
3484 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2016

edobbs87 :  You can do it either way! Personally I would go for changing maiden to middle, that way on forms and stuff it is easier. And you can just choose to go by all three, like instead of being Libbie Dobbs or Libbie Alexander, include your middle name and be Libbie Dobbs Alexander. And if you have kids, you can give them the middle name Dobbs too.

Also, don’t let the feminist stuff get you down. Your last name is just your dad’s name being passed down anyway, so it’s kind of like deciding between your dad’s name and your husband’s name. Pick whichever you like! 🙂

Post # 8
Member
6269 posts
Bee Keeper

Alexander-dobbs is rather nice. Would your husband change to it too so you’re both the same?

i get where you’re coming from. I like the romantic idea, but feel attached to my maiden name for reasons similar to yours. Plus having a very regional name helps me with the career that I’m in (it shouldn’t but it does). 

So we are mr&mrs his-surname socially. But im my maiden name for work. I’ve not changed any documents.  Our names sound rather similar so are a poor phonetic match when double barrelled so that option was out. 

So perhaps keeping your name professionally but being Mrs Alexander would work for you?

Post # 9
Member
541 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2026

Libbie Dobbs really does have a nice ring to it!! 

Maybe a bad suggestion but how about taking Alexander as a middle name? I really like your maiden name.

Post # 13
Member
4 posts
Wannabee

Thanks edobbs87 for bringing this up. I just got engaged last week and was thinking of hyphenating at first thought for similar reasons but this thread has really made me think. Good luck with your decision and congratulations. 

Post # 14
Member
134 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2016

I used my maiden name as my middle name. Go by all three names now. Was going to be too long to hyphenate and fit both in last name forms…so added maiden name to my offical name by dropping my middle name. It felt best way to keep it alive. Plus for my work life, I was known as my first and maiden name for so long, not dropping it was important to me. I dropped the middle name I didn’t use. This approach honored my blood family and my husband’s family.

Post # 15
Member
541 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2026

edobbs87 :  I say go for it!! You’d still be known as Libbie Dobbs, but you’d also be “taking” his name. Libbie A. Dobbs or Libbie Alexander Dobbs sounds sophisticated. 

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