(Closed) Name Changes in Your Social Circle

posted 5 years ago in Names
Post # 76
Member
2847 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

Oh, and all the women in my social circle have changed their names.  I live in the South.  I was definitely in the minority, even among professionals, last time, when I did not change.

Post # 77
Member
4161 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I was 25 when I got married and my 3 year anniversary is tomorrow.  Most weddings are happening around 25-50 within my friends. I still haven’t changed my name, but I’m the only one in my circle that hasn’t.  I wanted to hyphenate, however my last name is 9 letters and my DH’s last name is 8 letters and they’re both uncommon/semi hard to pronounce.  Together would be a nightmare.

My reasons – we are constantly traveling, and I haven’t had a window of time where there wasn’t a future flight booked so I could change my license and passport.  It’s a huge pain to change info on flights (especially out of Canada.)  I know, lame excuse.

Another reason is because of work.  My name is my brand, and if I change it now, I’ll have to start over.

I will change my name when when we have children though.

Post # 79
Member
3221 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2016

I’m really looking forward to changing my name, it’s long and hard to pronounce. I don’t want to just change it because “it is long” isn’t a great reason to exclude myself from sharing something that important with family… But I will change it when I get married. I’m kind of excited about having five letters instead of 20! The only thing I won’t change will be with my extended family from a culture where everyone hyphenates anyway, so for them I will have a super dee duper last name. But on my passport? Here’s to having a name that both fits on online ticketing software AND matches!

Post # 81
Member
2120 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

out of all the weddings I’ve been to recently, or judging by Facebook, everyone either changes or does the maiden-name-as-middle-name thing.

I’ll be changing mine (I’ll be 31 when I get married).

Post # 82
Member
935 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2015

My social circle is late 20’s to early 40s. Mostly professionals in our 30s, college educated, living on the west coast of the US.

Almost everyone, 90% or more, has changed their name in some way. One of my girlfriends had a birth name she didn’t like and couldn’t wait, for another it had special meaning to take his name and she did it right away. Another took his name a few years in when they had a baby.

I have a male friend who is taking his WIFE’s name and changing his last name to middle name, and his wife is taking his last as a middle. I think that it is just so perfect for this particular couple, I hope he doesn’t get too much flack about it! they will be Mr and Mrs HisLast HerLast, not hyphenating. They are both dropping their original middle names.  They are expecting a baby, and plan for the children to be named with his last as a middle name. I know someone from high school who got married and they created a new last name for their new family. 

I have 2 cousins who were born and raised in the South who kept their maiden name as their middle name. This is what I think I will do in the future. I like that we will all still keep that family link of our father’s last name. And I think it is a nice tradition.

I’m established professionally, my name is my brand, and I am referred to quite often by last name only (my first is a very common name).  It is such a HUGE part of my identity and will never go away. People will always call me that, I believe. Its my nickname, basically.

I feel no connection to my muddle name.  So I think I would have no problem dropping it. I’m not married yet and I’m not planning to do it right away since I will have to wait for a window when i’m not traveling, to change passport etc. BUT when I think of changing my name: First Maiden HisLast seems to feel the most “right” in my heart.  

 

Post # 83
Member
3860 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

I’m 27 on the east coast, and most of the people I know changed their name. However, I do know several women who kept their names including my good friend and 2 coworkers. One of my male coworkers took his wife’s last name. I kept my name. I sometimes get questions about it but they are never rude.

Post # 85
Bee
11810 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2009 - Barr Mansion

I didn’t change my name, and I thought I would be the only one in my circle not to, but I’m not! Out of all my married friends, at least 2 haven’t changed their last names (that I can think of off the top of my head). Then again, I also have a lot of friends who are in long term committed relationships with no plans to marry (or change their names), so if you include those people, the number is higher. It’s definitely less than 50% who have kept their last names, though.

Post # 86
Member
2119 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

ClaudiaKishi:  im 28. most woman i know have changed their names. but a hand full havent. no big deal. most who have not changed their names have been divorced before. In DHs family it would have been frowned apon though i dont think they would have actually said anything to my face. 

Post # 87
Member
640 posts
Busy bee

I’m 28 and all my/FI’s friends and family all changed their names.  I will too.

Post # 88
Member
159 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2016

ClaudiaKishi:  I’m 28 (will be 29 when we marry) and I’ll be changing my name. I’ve had such weird reactions! Most of my (straight) friends have changed their names, and the same friends are all baffled that I will be changing mine to my partner’s. I finally said, “but if I was marrying a guy, you’d think it odd if I didn’t change my name!” and it made the point. 

We made the decision together, including whose name to take. On the one had we’re a binational couple and love the idea of finally celebrating bringing her here by linking us together with the same name. It was also important to us that we share the same name with each other and with our future children. We thought about alternatives but her name fits better with the kids’ names we like, so hers ‘won.’

I really did think about it, however, because I have a number of publications and professional recognition under my name. 

 

Post # 89
Bee
103 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: January 2015

I’ve had a mix of everything…  some of my friends have kept their maden names, some hyphenated and others took their husbands last name.  I guess it’s true that everything goes. 

Post # 90
Member
576 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

I’m 24, and in my circle of family and friends I only know one girl who didn’t change her name. She’s a vet and has a well established practice so I can completely understand why she didn’t change it. She uses her husband’s name socially, like when signing cards and that sort of thing, but she’s legally kept her maiden name and that’s the name she uses professionally. 

I want to change my name, but my name was actually spelled wrong on our marriage license and I’ve had to go through endless amounts of red tape to fix it! I got married in June and probably won’t be able to change anything until December. It’s been so frustrating at times that I’ve felt like just saying forget about it and keeping my maiden name,  but that’s not what I really want.

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