Post # 62
I’m not going to change my name, but I do sometimes wish we could have the same last name. I wish he would take mine! It would be just as weird for him as it would be for me, though. (Probably weirder since it’s not the tradition for men.) It’s no accident that women are the ones who change their name. It stems from coveture — it used to be that when a woman married she was legally dead. Her legal identity was completely absorbed by her husband’s, so under the law, the wife was the husband. This is why married people could not enter into contracts with each other (you can’t have a contract with yourself) and one of the reasons why there was “no such thing” as marital rape (until the 1970’s and 1980’s in this country :-O ).
Post # 63
I honestly don’t even have to think about it..I will definitely be taking my husbands last name. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with tradition, and I also don’t think its wrong not to want to take your husband’s last name.
Post # 64
One funny thing I thought of right now….if this trend to combine last names continues…at what point does it just get ridiculous
For example: Me: Miss. A; Him: Mr. B
Married: Mrs B-A
then if I have a kid who does not want to give up her name they would be
you get the point… hehe
Post # 65
I’m changing mine, and it’s been an interesting discussion with certain coworkers…most of them are like, “oh, you’re traditional, that’s great” and that’s that, but there is one certain outspoken colleague of mine that flat out stated, “I didn’t change mine because I like it (maiden name) too much…besides, it used to mean you’re property of him, and I am not a piece of property or an animal.”
Now, I am used to her oddball comments, but I really just held my tongue on that one and smiled and said, “see, that’s the great thing about our modern age – we have the right to pick what we want to do.”
Post # 66
@lisalulu. i hear you about living in a liberal area where people look down on women who change their names! I changed mine because I like sharing this fundamental thing and I’m excited about our family having all one name, as in “The Smiths” or “The Johnsons.” And here’s the thing — we have these couple friends who are very liberal, and the husband told my husband that he’s jealous that I took my husband’s name! He said he would never ask his wife too, but he wishes she had.
All in all, it was a hard transition at times, but I’m so glad I did! 🙂
Post # 67
I couldn’t agree more. Feminist socioeconmic weirdness is a great way to describe it.
This weird sensation or wanting to feel like a family with one name but feeling like you lose your individual identity and being angry that it’s only you that has to sacrifice and that he doesn’t have to deal with this problem.
God, there are so many frustrating things about being female.