(Closed) Name not on Invite

posted 8 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Hostess
18643 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

Maybe they were just putting the last name on the outer envelope?  That so isn’t cool for them to invite your husband and not you!

Post # 4
Member
10367 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2010

Maybe don’t sweat this one – you go to your friend’s wedding, your husband can go to his friend’s wedding….everyone wins!

Post # 5
Member
195 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

Hmmmmmmmm, I am fairly confident that if your name is not on the envelope, then you are not invited;however, if this is one of your husband’s “good friends” then, if it were me, I would feel terribly slighted, too! Even if your husband asks, it’s going to be awkward, imo.

 

Maybe he should just go with you to your friend’s wedding…

Post # 7
Member
1371 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

He should definitely either ask them, or put your name on the reply card and let them do the initiating.  It’s totally inappropriate to invite one half of a married couple.  It sounds like you invited her fiance to your wedding, so it makes it even more strange.  I hope it all works out.

Post # 8
Member
129 posts
Blushing bee

You should definitely ask the couple about whether you’re invited before you make any plans to attend the wedding.  However, if they say that only your husband is invited, I would tell them politely that you can’t attend.  It’s very bad etiquette to not invite both spouses, and your husband shouldn’t feel obligated to go if they’re not inviting you.  I would not reply with your name on the reply card, however, because that’s also rude.  

Post # 10
Member
1068 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2011

This could also be a misunderstanding. Did your husband’s friend know that you had another wedding to attend that day (he could have mentioned it in passing), so they assumed that only your husband would be free to attend? I hope this is the reason, so that you don’t have hurt feelings. 

Post # 11
Member
7385 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2010

That is bizarre!  I agree with you that generally women would not just mistakenly overlook a spouse!  I hope its is just an error!

Post # 13
Member
4382 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2010 - Ceremony - First United Methodist Church; Reception - My parents' house!

I’m hoping/thinking it was just a mistake. Surely she wouldn’t invite only half of a married couple, unless there were some knock-down-drag-out-weird-fight situation.

Post # 14
Member
1250 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

Do you know anything about their guest list? (Like, is it a teeny tiny wedding?) I ask because recently my fiance was best man in a wedding and I wasn’t invited…and one of the groomsmen’s wife wasn’t invited either. However, it was a super super tiny Destination Wedding in Mexico where they rented out a house that only had space for a certain number of people. It kind of sucked, both guys weren’t too happy about it, but they had to be understanding because of how small and intimate the couple wanted the wedding.

It doesn’t sound like that is the case, but finding out more about their wedding might be informative as to why they might not have included you…

Post # 15
Member
385 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

I think you may be getting a little worked up over something small, which is understandable considering it sounds like you’re not too happy to be missing your friends wedding in the first place. The same situation happened to me last summer. We sent our STD’s to my husband’s friends with both their names, but when we got their wedding invitation a few months later, it didn’t include my name. He was sure I was invited, but I made him call just in case. His friend answered with a resounding, “Well, duh!”.

Have your husband call his friend. I seriously doubt that anyone would invite a friend, but not that friend’s wife – especially if they just went to your wedding. I can’t say I understand the mis-addressing of the invitation (I never figured out why they didn’t include my name, but I didn’t really care), but it sounds like a mistake and not something personal.

Post # 16
Member
1371 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

Well let us know how it works out.  I hope it was just a weirdo mistake.  I know that if this happened to me, and we found out I wasn’t invited, we wouldn’t be attending!

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