(Closed) Name(s) line vs. # attending – what’s the point?

posted 10 years ago in Paper
  • poll: What are you including on your RSVP?

    Just a space for names and accept / decline

    A space for names, accept / decline and the number attending

    Other (explained below)

  • Post # 3
    3342 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: August 2010

    I filled in the party’s name (for example The Smith Family) on all the response cards because I know people don’t fill those in.  We invited some families with grown children so we wanted to know how many of their family was coming. (Against etiquette rules we only sent one invite per family.)

    Post # 4
    72 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: June 2012

    thats kind of weird.. why would you have people write down their names AND the number attend.. I agree with you there… though I’ve also never seen this..

    I’m thinking of personally writing out people names on the RSVP and then decline/accept beside their names so theres no confusion as to who I’m inviting to the wedding . Since some crazy asian people in my family seem to think its okay to invite who ever else they want regardless of what anyone says.

    @JoJo Bananas your rsvp card is so pretty! I love the font!

    Post # 5
    7152 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: October 2010

    I did the name line, so you can keep up with the people that the RSVP card is for. I also assigned each household a number, The number attending is because if there are 3 people in the family and one person can’t come…doesn’t mean that all thre won’t be attending. So, you fill out the second line of ___ of ___ . They then know how many seats are reserved for them.

    Post # 6
    5653 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: February 2012

    Usually the number of people part should be filled in already by the couple. That way guests are less likely to write down 4 names when only 2 people are actually invited if the RSVP says “2 seats are served in your honor”. I think the reason couples like to use the numbers instead of writing names is because filling in 100 RSVP cards with numbers is easier than filling in 100 cards with names lol.

    Post # 7
    405 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: October 2011

    The purpose of the ___ of ___ in my case is to let people know that there is a limit to how many from their household/family are invited. The name line is for them to write in who exactly is coming. Say I invited John and Jane and their two kids, but only two of them can actually come. I can’t necessarily assume that it’s John and Jane. They might write in Jane and Kid 1 on the line.

    Post # 8
    2790 posts
    Sugar bee

    Often times with people who aren’t inviting children they leave the name space empty so that people can place their names on the line but then fill in the # attending to reiterate the point that only 2 members of the household are invited and those 2 members are the adults.

    Also, say you had a single father and you were inviting him, his child and his girlfriend you may have never met or you are extending an invitation of “And guest” to him. 3 people were invited but maybe he only wants him and his Girlfriend to come. You need to know the new GF’s name but also you need to know that of the 2 people in the # attending spot, those 2 people are him and his Girlfriend not him and his child.

    Post # 8
    1842 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: September 2011

    We did:


    ____ Accepts with pleasure    # Attending ____

    ____ Declines with regret                              

                                          Kindly reply by August 26th

    My reasoning for including both is this.  I invite Mr. and Mrs. John Smith.  Maybe John writes his name next to the “M” but doesn’t think to include his wife.  Is his wife coming?  I’m not sure – until I see how many he indicated under the # attending.  Also, we’re inviting some children to our wedding.  If I sent the invitation to, “Mr. and Mrs. Jeff Brown, John, Larry, Noel and Abby” maybe they will write “Brown Family” and then I’ll have no idea how many of that family is actually coming.  For me, the M line is so I know who, in general, the RSVP is from, but then I’ll be using the # attending line to keep track of the total amount of people.

    Post # 10
    2599 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: June 2011

    most of my brides that put both do it because they aren’t sure how many in a family or if they invite +1s to people without knowing the names – it helps make it clear. 

    We did names but not how many.  With our guest list, anyone we’re not sure of we can just give a quick call to.

    Post # 11
    221 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: March 2012

    I hope this helps clear things up a bit more:

    The “We have reserved ___ seats in your honor” is for the bride/groom to fill in.  The statement is basically telling the guests that we are only allowing you to bring this many people with you.  i.e. It’s very common in the Mexican culture for invited guests to bring along their aunt, uncles, cousins…whomever they want to join them.  When you have a limited number of seats at your venue, you can’t have your guests bringing along a whole army of people that you do not know with them.  Plus most people don’t know that the way the invitation is addressed tells them who is invited.

    The “M_____” is for their names…because when you order invitations, you aren’t giving the invitation maker the list of names to print out on each RSVP card.  They just make one generic card to send to everyone.  Either you can fill it out for your guests or let the guests fill it out for themselves.  When you receive the card back, you will want to know who it’s from.  If you are having assigned seating, letting the guests fill in this line of who exactly is attending will help out when making name tags.

    The “___ Accepts” and “___ Regrets” tells you how many of the people you invited are coming and how many are not.  Many guests don’t realize it, but an RSVP is supposed to be sent back whether you are going or not.  It’s courteous to let the hosts know yay or nay.  Also, lets say you invited a family of 4, but only the parents are going.  The guests will fill out 2 for accepts and 2 for regrets.

    Post # 13
    10355 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: September 2010

    We used the __ of __ attending line with the pre-filled in “of___” to reinforce the number of people who were invited so that people wouldn’t add +1’s or their children if they were not invited.

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