(Closed) Names on invitations and who’s paying Question.

posted 9 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
1220 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2009

I’m confused.  You’re having different invites to the welcome dinner and wedding, correct?

 

Are the Father-In-Law paying 100% of the welcome dinner?

Post # 4
Member
14186 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

If you are paying for 90% of the wedding, you gert to say you invited everyone. That’s what we did, even though Future Mother-In-Law did the rehearsal dinner and my parents covered honeymoon. we still paid for the *wedding*

Post # 5
Member
5273 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2009

I am in the excat same position as you. My Future In-Laws are paying 100% for the welcome dinner, and my parents, although contributing some money, arn’t paying for most of the wedding, we are.

SO, on our wedding invitations (since we are paying most of it) We just wrote “Two best friends have decided to spend the rest of their lives together. Please join us in celebrating the marriage of Ashley____ & Travis ____” etc.

Technically the “us” includes my parents, although they arn’t listed by name on the invitation. The”us” solved the problem of acknowledging my parents contribution, but not giving them the full credit, since we are paing for most of the wedding.

 

Post # 7
Member
5273 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2009

Also, as a sidenote, before we decided on the “us” we were thinking about “together with their families” would your parents be cool with that?

Post # 9
Member
404 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

If the inlaws are paying for the welcome dinner, it is fine if only their names are mentioned.  vice versa, if parents are contributing to wedding but not inlaws, I would list only your parents as the host on the invitation.  We ran into this problem with my Future Mother-In-Law because we didn’t list her name on the invite, but we explained to her, my parents are paying for the whole reception, therefore they are the hosts. 

Post # 10
Member
1220 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2009

I think you then need to look beyond who’s paying for what.  We had to add his parents names somehow to the darn invites to the wedding (even though they haven’t given us one cent for anything).  So we went with “son of xyz and abc”. 

Post # 11
Member
32 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: October 2009

We’re paying for the wedding by ourselves with small contributions from our parents.  I decided to just add both parents in the invitation since I think they’d like that and I didn’t mind.

Post # 12
Member
2470 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

I’m think the welcome dinner is comparable to the rehearsal dinner which is often paid for by the groom’s folks. Am I correct in this comparison? Maybe if you explain it to your mom that way…

Post # 14
Member
2207 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

we ran into this problem too, only reversed.  My Future In-Laws were really offended that they werent on teh wedding invite even though my parents paid 100%.  So to appease them we put their names under my husbands as “Son of.”  When the time came, ONLY their names were on the Rehearsal Dinner invites.  My parents thought it wsa amusing…

Regardless, if your Future In-Laws paid 100% of the Rehearsal Dinner, their names go on the invites.

Post # 15
Member
2470 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

Well in that case why don’t you just sya You’re Invited to start Amanda and Eric’s Wedding Celebration in the Sweetest Way Possible.

No fuss, no worries

Post # 16
Member
1220 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2009

Ah!  It makes so much more sense now.  I’m glad you were able to talk to your mom.  Sounds like it would be better if it didn’t have anyone’s names on it?

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