Post # 1
Member
887 posts
Busy bee
Does anybody else think it’s a bit weird to actually name a baby before it is born, and always refer to it by its name instead of ‘the baby’ or some other nickname for the fetus or something? (Now before anybody gets cranky at me, I’m definitely not saying ‘I think you are a weirdo if you do this’, just that, for me personally, it would feel really odd to do this and I’m not even sure why.)
I know that a ton of people call their unborn babies by their future names, especially if they know the baby’s gender, so it seems to me like it might actually be the norm – but I just can’t get comfortable with the idea of doing this! I haven’t really thought out the reasons why, but maybe it has to do with ‘personhood’, i.e., the baby is not yet a person separate from me, until it is born, so it doesn’t feel right to name it yet. Maybe it makes the actual act of being born less special, to already have a name before that happens. I’m not overly worried that something bad will happen and the pregnancy won’t continue, so I don’t think it’s a superstitious thing. It just doesn’t feel right for me and I find it a bit off-putting whenever I hear other people doing it, I feel like ‘oops did they mean to say that – oh wait, yes, of course they did.’. This is one of the reasons I’m hoping to stay strong and be Team Green. I already have 2 names picked out, one for a boy and one for a girl, and Darling Husband is pretty on board with them. I’m worried if I know the baby’s sex, it will be impossible for me not to just start thinking of the baby as “____”, since that is almost certainly what the name would be.
Anybody else out there feel this way, and what are your reasons for it? Does / did it influence whether or not you want(ed) to know the sex of the baby before birth? Just interested 🙂
Post # 3
Member
1474 posts
Bumble bee
We are just going to nickname the baby something silly before birth (like Peanut, for example) and have a few names to decide from after we meet the baby. I’m not comfortable tagging him or her with a name before we meet 🙂
Post # 4
Member
84 posts
Worker bee
We plan on doing this. I always thought it was a way for the parents, especially the father, to form an attachment to the baby before his/her birth.
I know many people say, “What if when I see the baby, that is not his name?” We don’t really associate looks with names, so I don’t see how that would be a problem for us. Personality, maybe, but I am not sure how much a newborn’s behavior reflects his personality when he is grown.
Post # 5
Member
1526 posts
Bumble bee
I just call the baby “nugget” but my mom refers to the baby as “Cambray” (our girl’s name is Camden and our boy’s name is Brady). We don’t know the sex yet, but I think she will refer to it by it’s name when we find out. I will probably continue to call him/her nugget.
ETA: I am not 100% sold yet on Camden, so that is probably part of my apprehension about calling the baby a proper name. DH is pretty firm on the name though.
Post # 6
Member
1486 posts
Bumble bee
I have done it with both of my children. (Although DS hasn’t been born yet, 9 more weeks!)
For me, it really makes a HUGE difference in my ability to bond with the babies. I had a lot of trouble accepting that pregnancies would equal a live baby at the end of the road, and I didn’t really have very many positive associations at all, until I knew what the baby was, and then, later, WHO it was.
I don’t like to ANNOUNCE the names to the world until birth, but that’s mostly because I don’t want to hear opinions about my name choice. But, no, as far as talking about the baby between Darling Husband and I, we call them by their names, absolutely.
Post # 7
Member
9916 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
My parents called me Big Foot before I was born…and my brother I called Erasmus (?!?!) before he was born. Needless to say (at least I think it’s needless…), I did not end up with the name Big Foot. My brother’s name is Paul, not Erasmus.
Post # 8
Member
8041 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
@araneidae: Yeah, I find it a bit odd. I’d like to see the kid first I think. I have names in mind, but as I want it to be a surprise until the very end, unless I pick a gender neutral name I can’t do this lol.
Post # 9
Member
6998 posts
Busy Beekeeper
We both use his name all the time when talking about him or to him. I felt like it helped me bond with him and really start to think of him as a baby instead of just something growing inside of me. He should be here in a few short weeks!
Post # 10
Member
4582 posts
Honey bee
We will have our baby’s name picked out by the time she is born, but we won’t call her by that name while she’s still in the womb. We have nicknames for her so we’re not just calling her “the baby” all the time, but I refuse to call her by her name until her birth.
I have a friend on facebook who started calling her baby Sophia from the moment she found out she was a girl. She wanted nothing more than to name her daughter Sophia. Well, after several months of Sophia this and Sophia that, she decided to change the name about a week before the baby was due. Awkward.
Post # 11
Member
887 posts
Busy bee
@Quietserenity: That’s a really good point! Who knows, I am only 14 weeks, maybe I will feel differently about this once I feel more pregnant. At this point I’m not showing or feeling anything and I have barely any symptoms. The only couple of times I have fully, 100% believed that I am pregnant are the few minutes I’ve laid there watching the baby on the ultrasound screen. Maybe I will change my tune entirely once I am constantly reminded there is a baby in there! I could definitely see how naming the baby before birth would help in forming an attachment.
Post # 12
Member
1572 posts
Bumble bee
Not weird at all. Right now I call it “baby” or sometimes “my little demon” when it is sucking the life and health out of me, haha, but we have names chosen and so I do plan to use the name once we know the sex. Now, I do want the name to be a surprise, so I won’t be telling anyone else our baby name until (s)he is born because I don’t want to hear any rude comments on my baby’s name and people are far less likely to do that when the baby is actually here. But in my own home my hubby and I will almost definitely be using the name once we know the sex. 🙂
Post # 13
Member
4429 posts
Honey bee
@araneidae: i named my son before he was born. it felt right to me to name the baby.
Post # 14
Member
3830 posts
Honey bee
No. i plan to meet my children first before i give them a strick name. Of course we will have names picked, but i want to see what will fit.
Post # 15
Member
7152 posts
Busy Beekeeper
My Munchkin is named and I am 7 months. We named her right after the Anatomy Scan.
Post # 16
Member
3063 posts
Sugar bee
I am not expecting, but we do have our child’s named picked out and will call the fetus by it’s name after we find out the gender. We even have our future dog’s named picked out and whenever we talk about cool things we’ll do with the dog when we get one we call him by his name. Example: “I can’t wait to train Darwin how to retreive the newspaper!” lol!
