(Closed) Narcissistic Mother of the Bride

posted 4 years ago in Family
Post # 2
1027 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2017

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cvh234 :  I wouldn’t take any money period, even though she’s insisting on paying for her people. I would also not give her any wedding details. I also wouldn’t blame you if you considered not inviting her. I’d hate to see what she’d be like at the wedding.. 

Post # 3
275 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2004

I’m a daughter of a narc mom, my heart hurts for you, I am so sorry that such a happy time is being overshadowed by your mom.  Are you in counseling?  If not I highly recommend it, it took me years of therapy to deal with my mother and her cruelty.

I would not accept any money from your parents no matter how much she insisits.  Her money has countless strings and when you push back she will tell you and anyone who will listen how ungrateful you are.  

It’s so hard, but you have to learn how to stand up to her now.  Especially if you plan to have kids, the competition that she has created in her head with your inlaws will magnify x1000.  Before I cut her out my mom was obsessive about ‘proving’ she was the preferred grandparent.  

Post # 4
3740 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2017

Do we share the same mother, lol???

Seriously, don’t take any money from her at all and don’t discuss wedding planning with her. Tell her that her behavior is not appropriate and you will not tolerate it. 

I agree with PP for therapy. They can help you learn how to set boundaries with your mother. 

Post # 5
4 posts
  • Wedding: October 2018

My heart goes out to you. If you need a sounding board, check out /JUSTNOMIL on Reddit. 

Post # 7
84 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: August 2018

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cvh234 :  you mention “parents” – I know you’re an adult but where’s your dad in all this? Are your parents together? Can he be a mediator or support you in any way?

Post # 8
58 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: October 2018

Do not accept any money from your mother, and cut her out of the wedding planning proccess entirely. From what you’ve told us your mother is extremely toxic and this is only going to cause you more stress leading up to the big day. 

I had to cut my own mother out of my life years ago because of behaviour like this. 

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