(Closed) Narrowing Down the Guest List?!?!

posted 7 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
6572 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: February 2010

I had this issue with my mom. While at the venue and seeing how small it was my mom said, “no problem, we just won’t invite a lot of people.” And then she gave me a huge list! I just had to be firm (which is when she called me a bridezilla) and say that she could only have that certain number of people. She also tried telling me that people won’t come, but I wasn’t ok with that, it’s way too stressful for me! We finally agreed that those people who wouldn’t come anyway got an announcement instead.

Post # 4
7587 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2010

I wouldn’t go over your max capacity at all, just in case.

Darling Husband and I decided to cut people out that the other had never met. If you weren’t important enough to have met the Darling Husband before the day he became Darling Husband, then more than likely you don’t need to attend my wedding. We did allow for some out of state family members to not meet these requirements, but that was it.  It was the only rule we needed. We then comfortably fit into our goal number.

Post # 5
7173 posts
Busy Beekeeper

We didn’t go over our max capacity.

I only invited people Darling Husband and I knew well and/or had a current relationship with.  All others were cut.  If you aren’t close to those out of town people, consider sending them an announcement instead of an invite

Post # 6
5670 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2010

My mother thought she was going to invite 300 people just herself and my Mother-In-Law who wasn’t contributing a single dime was going to invite another 120. This was before Darling Husband and I even made our list. We ended up inviting 260 (this include 30 people with +1’s so technically invited 230) and ended up with 210 at our wedding. What we did was decided Darling Husband and I were going to make a list and then sit down with each of our parents individually and cross reference. Whoever we didn’t have on our list it was a requirement that both Darling Husband and I knew who they were. This helped eliminate a lot of people and since we were together for 5 yrs before getting married it was save to ay if the other person didn’t know who they were in 5 yrs then they couldn’t have been that important.

Post # 7
5670 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2010

I regards to max capacity our ballroom held 500 so we didn’t have to worry about that. But none of our singles brought a plus one however they did write thank you notes for allowing them to bring someone if they wanted. But we had a 90% attendance rate.


Post # 8
713 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

We’ve invited 111 people for a venue with a max capacity of 100. I’m a little stressed about it!

Post # 9
3977 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

We invited a bit over 160 and it looks like we’ll have around 100. I knew that a ton of our relatives wouldn’t be able to come out here so I was pretty certain of about 30 no’s

Our wedding is only 9 days away and I still have my mom saying “Oh did we invite X or Y?” “No, mom they weren’t on your list.” “Oh, wow, well, suppose we can’t do anything now.” lol

Maybe you can ask some of your friends to come “together” if they know each other instead of bringing a separate +1. I have a couple friends who are doing that.

And don’t invite anyway who you really don’t know. Just because they are friends of your parents doesn’t mean they should be at your wedding.

I personally wouldn’t go more than 20 over my venues max.

Post # 10
921 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

we invited our max and decided if we had too few people we would invite in town friends since they already know about it but know about our capacity issues. they are all fine with being b listed though lol


Post # 12
1506 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

We had the same problem. I only invited 2 people over our max capacity when the first batch went out only because there was no way to cut it anymore. Once we got a good amount of no’s back I sent another batch out. Better safe than sorry!

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