- 6 days ago
- Wedding: May 2017
I am going through a nasty divorce right now. My soon to be ex H was unfaithful for the majority of our 2 year marraige, and before. I don’t know if he was ever physically unfaithful, but he engaged in several online sexual relationships. He had several dating profiles that I discovered at different points in our marriage. Tinder, Bumble, POF, Ashley Madison, and some other dirty sites like “milf finder”, “discreet lonely wives”, “maturesforf***”, “flirtymature”, etc. Up until the las time it happened, I deleted all evidence I had collected, as I was trying to reconcile with him and I drove myself crazy looking at what he’d done.
I don’t have anything too horrible in terms of evidence, not like what I’ve had in the past, at least. I have screenshots of his e-mail account with his confirmations to joining these websites, e-mails showing he has a new message from “username123”, and I a was able to hack into one of these accounts and see some messages he’d sent, which he’s given out his cell phone number (company provided phone and number, at that), and sent dirty messages. His profile picture for this account was also a picture of his penis.
I have made it known to him that I have evidence, but have not told him what kind of evidence. So for all he knows, I could have much worse. I have only told him this because he basically has denied what he’s done, and downplayed it to everyone. Meanwhile, he’s telling everyone I’ve been the one cheating, as I’ve recently met someone (after being separated and moved out of our shared residence for months, and months before that of being misreable, yet faithful, in our marriage). He’s badmouthing me around town, and has a lot of people thinking that I left him for another man, which is far from the truth. I was faithful to him through all of his “struggles” as he called them. I’ve tried to help him fight off these urges, and was supportive until I couldn’t be anymore. He was also not only unfaithful, but verbally abusive, abusive to our dog, and downright mean to me.
What I’m wanting advice on, is IF I decided to share any evidence I have to clear my name (with individuals, not publiclly on Facebook or anything like he’s done), what could I get in trouble for? I know I could be in trouble for sharing the photo of his penis, as that would be distributing pornogrophy, and I would never do that anyways. My sister ran into his parents, and they were under the impression I was divoricing him over him watching porn. My sis told them the truth, and they wouldn’t believe her. She told them I had evidence. He then went to his attorney, and said I was threatening to share pictures, and he’d have me arrested for a felony.
He’s said that he’s going to have it be part of our MSA that I cannot share anything, but I want to know what rights I have to disagreeing, and only agreeing to not share physical pictures. I’ve recently learned that this will not be part of the MSA, but a judgement that is signed a day or 2 prior to our court date. What if I don’t agree to the terms his attorney proposes? Will that affect our MSA, if that is already signed? I don’t really want to agree to not sharing any info I have, when he’s already blasted me on facebook for having a new boyfriend (his term, not mine – he’s just a friend at this point), including his sister sharing a picture of us publically on facebook. I just don’t know much about judgements, or how they work.
I don’t even know if I will share anything with anyone yet, but I’m strongly considering it, at least with the people that mean something to me, who now think I’m the one that went outside of our marriage. I could really be a bitch, and reach out to his employer, as most of what he was doing online was done on his COMPANY phone. He was giving out his work provided phone number on sex sites. He was trying to meet up with women in the hotel on a work trip. He was doing this stuff on company time. Looking at sex/porn sites while at work. His company has an anonynous tip line for employee misconduct, and they take that stuff very seriously.