Background: I have a grandmother who is extremely difficult to deal with. She is incredibly self important, and makes everything about her. She creates drama and then expects others to fawn over her – she cannot function without constant praise and admiration from others. I am her only grandchild in touch with her – she has alienated the others over the years.
2 weeks ago I had minor heart surgery. 3 days into my recovery, her very close friend who she lives with) was taken to hospital with pains, and ended up having a minor gastro surgery himself. As he is older, he has been kept in for monitoring, and recently got an infection so had to stay longer. She has sent several, lengthy emails every day to a large group of people, updating us on his condition. I have responded twice, sending my love and asking how he is feeling.
Yesterday she emailed me, asking why I had not been in touch more, and saying how disappointed she was in ‘the younger generation’. She tried to disguise her criticisms by saying she hoped it wasn’t because I was unwell – but her intentions were quite clear.
I responded politely but firmly saying that I had emailed twice, and that while I appreciate I hadn’t sent more, I was very tired and recovering myself. I sent my love again.
I then got another even more critical response lambasting the younger generation for being unthinkably rude, this would never happen in her day, and telling me how I could not possibly imagine the trauma she is going through.
I don’t want to ignore her as then shewill think this is appropriate. Nobody ever dares confront this woman! So what do I do?!?!
I thought about a short and sweet response -‘Im sorry you feel that way.’
Or possibly ‘Your intentions are clear and your feelings noted. I am sorry you feel I fell short of your expectations.’
Or a longer one, explaining that she has hurt my feelings and perhaps pointing out the irony that she has not once emailed to see how I am after my surgery?!?
Or something else entirely? Any advice….I will take it.