Navigating Grandparents Providing Childcare

posted 2 months ago in Parenting
Post # 2
Member
3660 posts
Sugar bee

“Hey mom, I know this is a pain, but I need to know if you are okay with properly baby-proofing some areas in your home. If not, I need to find alternative care for Dear Daughter.” You just need to be straight up with what you need and what the alternative is if she doesn’t want to do it. It’s her right to say no, and it’s your right to keep your child safe. 

Post # 4
Member
7866 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

As PP said you just have to be blunt about it. My mom doesn’t always follow instructions when she babysits and I KNOW her mother did it to her and it drove her nuts. So I just “well ok Nana” and that usually gets her to cut it out for awhile. 

Can she watch your daughter in your home instead of hers? My mom’s house also has killer stairs of slippery steep death and so she just comes to us to babysit rather than trying to babyproof them. 

Post # 6
Member
9210 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

If I really wanted my mom to keep watching the kid (which it sounds like you do), I’d probably just say that if the door’s finish is damaged or whatever, I’ll pay for it to get fixed or have her door replaced. 

Like is it silly for her to be more concerned about the door than the kid’s safety? Sure. But if that’s truly the concern then I’d just offer it up to get this issue resolved.

Post # 7
Member
169 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2019

You said there is no baby monitor, why not just put one in the room? They have different all different kinds.

Post # 8
Member
9421 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

I’ve always said my daughter’s safety comes before anyone’s feelings. I would just be blunt. “Mom if you are not willing to take the appropriate safety precautions I’m just going to put dd into daycare.”

If the room is at the top of the stairs technically the gate should be bolted into the wall, not just tension set iirc.

Can you not just turn the knob around though?

Post # 9
Member
2187 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2018

“DD needs to be somewhere that is safe for her.  Let’s install the gate and make sure it’s tight.  If you don’t want to do that, I totally understand but we’ll have to do something else for childcare.”

You’re being totally reasonable.  Just be firm but polite, and make it clear how much you appreciate your mom’s help.

Post # 11
Member
7866 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

anonobeebee :  her preferences don’t trump your kid’s safety though. I would say “mom, your options are to either babyproof the house or watch daughter at our house. If those choices don’t work for you we’ll put her in daycare early.” 

Post # 12
Member
6806 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2016

anonobeebee :  Would a possible solution be to get her a baby monitor? My parents watch our son on Mondays and they have a baby monitor (sound only) set up in the room he sleeps in. That does absolutely no damage to any surfaces and they’re cheap. 

ETA: And also switch around the door handle. I guess I’m not understanding how that didn’t happen in the first place as it sounds like that’s originally what you planned on doing when you went over there this morning?

Post # 13
Member
169 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2019

anonobeebee :  Oh yea that’s right you did say she isn’t in the pack n play. Never mind lol. 

Post # 14
Member
169 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2019

Not sure if this is ideal. How about putting a play yard in the room. They have an even flo one that looks like 5 or so gates attacted to each other. That way she can sleep on the floor, like she likes but still be safe? It looks pretty cool. I just looked it up lol.

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