- 5 years ago
- Wedding: January 2012
My FILs are stuck up to some extent – they do think they are better than my family (FMIL thinks my family is trashy and dramatic – not me, my family – and once let it slip when we were talking. I said something, and she countered with, “But I bet it’s NICE to be around a boring family like ours.” I paused for a minute and looked at her – her face went ashen – and I just said, “actually, my family is pretty boring too,” before I completely changed the subject).
Then when we picked out the hall and it came up that there would be alcohol at the wedding, FMIL chose the opportunity to wax superior and actually said, “Well, no one in our family drinks, so I know that no one in our family will be causing trouble.” In front of my mom and me.
They are also picky and childish. Any little thing is a perceived insult or rejection – like when FI and I moved in together, and two days later when FSIL heard about it from FMIL, she confronted me about it for not telling her.
Anticipating that FSIL would throw a fit if she weren’t picked for the wedding party, I chose not to have one. Now it comes down to seating: there will be a total of 8 tables. I thought of putting 4 in the front and just putting a “Reserved for Bride and Groom’s Families” sign out. That way, they can grab whatever and they can’t blame it on me (“She put OUR family behind HER family!” FWIW, we will be getting married on the dance floor at our reception, so it’s all happening there.
My mom suggested that I let a member of his family come and help us set up decorations so they can pick out tables for their family. Is that the best strategy? I really don’t want anyone from his side helping set up – I get the impression the most likely to help would be the most likely to criticize or analyze my every decorating-decision.
I’ve also just thought about telling both families: “There are 4 tables reserved at the front for both families.” I thought about telling his family, “If you don’t ilke the table where you end up, talk to my mom or my best friend.” He does have some family members on his side who may want to be seated closer to the bathroom or further away from the music, due to disability or just preference. I am thinking about having my best friend serve as an usher/information source/problem-solver before the wedding, which could help cut down on some issues.
So – what’s the best strategy? Let one of them help pick out tables/decorate…let them know their options beforehand and what time to arrive?