(Closed) Near-homewrecker wants to work at my company…Help!!

posted 5 years ago in Career
Post # 3
Member
9142 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL

When they call there is nothig wrong with saying that “her behaviors have a way of causing unnecessary drama in the office with co-workers.”  I would leave it at that so they don’t think you are gossipping.  She was dummy to ask you to be her reference!  Just remember, do not say anything that is not true and honestly, the less you say, the better.

Post # 4
Member
540 posts
Busy bee

How many employees are at the company? If it were me, I would have a private conversation with my boss and the hiring person/boss of the open position, and tell them that someone approached you about the job and that you really can’t recommend them for the job. Leave the personal stuff out. I REPEAT: Do not include any personal reasons that you don’t want to work with this individual. If you feel like the boss wants a reason, just say that her personality is not good for the company, or something along those lines.

Post # 7
Member
12249 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2013

My sister’s BFF actually did something similar!

My sister calls out all the time/is a terrible employee. So she applied to a job where her BFF works, and listed her as a reference!

But BFF had a chat with the boss and told him how she brought unnecessary tension to her workplace/can be disrespectful/call out behavious, and she didn’t get the job!

My sister still doesn’t know, but her BFF told me since she felt bad about it!

There’s all sorts of work-related negatives you can say!

Post # 8
Member
1177 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@Ashley_P:  +100

You can’t repeat any of the personal stuff – it reflects poorly on you (because it’s not a work related criticism).  What you can say is, “I don’t really feel it would be appropriate for me to discuss why, but I can’t recommend her for this position.” And don’t go into it. It should get the job done.

Post # 9
Member
2269 posts
Buzzing bee

@beachbride1216:  “Just remember, do not say anything that is not true and honestly, the less you say, the better.

@geekspice:  “You can’t repeat any of the personal stuff – it reflects poorly on you (because it’s not a work related criticism).

I think a combination of @beachbride1216: and @geekspice: ideas would be perfect:

“Her behaviors have a way of causing unnecessary drama in the office with co-workers and for other reasons I don’t really feel it would be appropriate for me to discuss, I simply can’t recommend her for this position.”

Post # 10
Member
8461 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2013

@1stRosie:  I agree with the other PPs about not saying any of the personal stuff, but something like “she’s not a team player” would probably suffice.

Post # 11
Member
7758 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Just be careful about a too-vague, “I can’t go into details” type response. If a co-worker gave me that response when I asked for a reference, my immediate response would be “why do you say that?” Also, if you do give a sort of vague response and she gets an interview anyway, she could say “She just doesn’t like me because I’m an old friend of her fiance”.

I would ignore the personal stuff and concentrate on the fact that she hates her current company. I think I would say, “Has she given any referees from her current company? Because from what I’ve heard she’s having a lot of conflicts there. I get the impression that conflict follows her a lot”.

Post # 12
Member
171 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

If I feel I could not give someone a good recommendation, I would not agree to be their reference to begin with, and give them a chance to find someone else who might. 

Post # 13
Member
1177 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@paula1248:  Yeah, it would work in my experience. I hired hundreds of people over the twenty years I spent as a corporate manager. If I had gotten that response from a coworker who had been listed as a reference, I would have drawn two conclusions:

1. The applicant has poor judgement, because they chose as a reference someone who obviously doesn’t respect or want to work with them.

2. The coworker has incriminating info on the applicant, but is trying to be discreet, not gossipy, while still giving me a heads-up that this person could be a problem hire. And hiring managers will do anything to avoid a problem hire, because it is such an ordeal most of the time to fire someone.

TBH if someone responded to me the way you did, I would view that as gossipy. I would also wonder if this was firsthand info, or mere rumours being repeated. Although I still would be reluctant to hire the applicant, I might look slightly askance at the coworker as well.

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