Post # 1
Newlywed bee here! I keep reading websites and articles stressing the importance of maintaining your friendships after you are married…and I get that. However, do you bees think it’s absolutely necessary to have the same type of interactions with friends?
Example: I have had a small group of friends for over 10 years. While I really love them, we are all on waaaay different paths right now. One of them did something kind of hurtful on the day of my wedding too, and I’m having a hard time having casual girlfriend chat after that. I feel like we just don’t have much to talk about anymore and I’d rather have more me time than be obligated to hang out because it’s “healthy.” To me, it’s not so much about being all wrapped up in Darling Husband, but that those friendships have just changed. Hanging out every weekend and talking every other day is just not on the radar for me as much. Am I being a sucky friend for that? Is it weird to feel this way?
Post # 3
@buttercup26: No, no at all. There’s nothing wrong with wanting “me time”, everyone needs it. If what happened with her is making you uncomfortable talking to her everyday, and you don’t want to confront it, you don’t have to. I have had some people treat me poorly that I knew a “sit-down” would have just made it worse with. I just figured we had grown into different people and I went my own way. You’re an adult, life is too short to be “obligated” to anyone who has hurt you.
Post # 4
It’s not obligatory to have the same kinds of interactions, no way. I think it’s totally normal for friends to be in your life more and less frequently as you all move through different stages. When I got engaged 3 years ago I moved in with my Darling Husband 1.5 hours way from my group of good friends. We saw each other a few times a week and went out to movies, dinners, brunches, etc. For the most part, we’ve all stayed close and see each other once every month or so as a group, and a few of the more often if we’re in each others’ neck of the woods, plus keeping in touch via FB/phone.
A few of them have stayed in the single girl party phase/cycle through one boyfriend after another at lightning speed and I just don’t see them much anymore. I was losing interest in that scene before I met Darling Husband anyway so I feel like it was a pretty natural thing to happen.
Life is all about incorporating changes and growing as a person, many friends will grow and change with you. For those who can’t/won’t at this time, they might come back later when you are again in a similar life stage. If they can’t understand that your priorities are different now that you’re married, bide your time and you just might end up having her and her Darling Husband over for dinner regularly a few years down the road 😉