(Closed) need a cover story (long)

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
141 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

@pinkfrog:  Maybe you could just say it was because of a last-minute emergency (which is true) and change the subject? It’s not really anyone’s business why the kids are there, so you don’t owe it to people to explain, you know?

Post # 4
3720 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

If anyone asks, roll your eyes and say “it’s complicated”. People will read between the lines.

Post # 5
5958 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2018

Tell them she has no respect for the covenant of etiquette, and THAT is why her brood is in attendance, truth is always best.

Post # 6
1513 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

i think a combo of what lizahbee and Pollywog said is best if you want to take the high road and avoid drama. 

im sorry youre dealing with this so close to your wedding… but yay!!!! 3 days to go 🙂 congrats!!

Post # 7
857 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

You should have put your foot down, and not counted on anyone else to fix a problem for you. That being said, there’s nothing much you can do now except say there was a sitter emergency, and the kids had to come – but only if you are questioned about it. Lets hope they are generous to you … 

Post # 8
506 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

…tell the truth. She completely ignored you and brought her kids. 

That’s not dramatic-it’s the truth. It doesn’t matter that aunty so and so didn’t talk to her. The invite wasn’t to her children. Honestly, people will probably not talk to you about it but to your party/parents. Just tell them to be honest but not mean spirited.

If you are rude, you deserve it when people call you out on it. Sorry I’m not sorry. 

Also is there any way you can arrange a sitter? Or bribe a younger cousin with cheap beer to watch them offsite?

Post # 10
757 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

My Future Sister-In-Law had this happen at her wedding, there were no kids invited and one of her FI’s cousins brought their daughter. No one asked her about it and no one said anything afterwards, even though lots of people hadn’t come becuase there weren’t kids invited. I wouldn’t worry too much, people know that invitations are complicated and sometimes exceptions happen.

Post # 11
8438 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

Well to be fair you don’t even know if the cousin was actually told no children. Excusing her lack of knowledge about wedding invite/envelope etiquette (and to be fair not many people do know about it!) the OP never called her and explained the misunderstanding but instead relied on others to do the dirty work which back fired. The way I see it the message got as far as the Aunt and stopped. I don’t really think it is fair to blame the cousin!

Just tell the truth- that Aunt and Uncle couldn’t make it because of Uncles broken leg which messed up the baby sitting arrangements and since they had already booked travel for everyone you didn’t think it was fair to tell them no.


Post # 12
2781 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

It most likely won’t come up at the wedding, but if anyone mentions it after the fact just be honest with them. Tell them this cousin completely ignored the invite and brought their kids.

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