Need a creative solution for an officiant to get married ON our wedding day :)

posted 2 years ago in Ceremony
Post # 2
6606 posts
Bee Keeper

I dont understand why he wants to marry someone that is already married? That makes literally no sense.

I’d say he can either get ordained, or perform the ceremony with the officiant in the background.


Post # 3
209 posts
Helper bee

Is there a reason he has to perform the ceremony? Can you have another officiant do it and have him read something special (a bible verse, a poem, etc.) during the ceremony?

Post # 6
6606 posts
Bee Keeper

weddinginthe6 :  Okay, so you could probably check if he would prefer to do a prayer at dinner, or do a reading at the ceremony.

If its important to you to actually get married on your wedding day and he is refusing to work with you, I think that might be the next best option. If he specifically said he “doesnt feel comfortable marrying you”, then he might not actually want to do the ceremony?

Post # 7
866 posts
Busy bee

We looked into getting a friend ordained since officiants where we are getting married are expensive… Its not so easy in Canada, you need a compelling reason, paperwork and more time than you have… What we ended up doing was getting a United minister to marry us… Only one of you needs to be baptised (according to our minister)… Since you would be getting married by a priest Father-In-Law probably wouldn’t be too upset by being replaced.

Post # 8
2217 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2019 - Chateau Lake Louise

weddinginthe6 :  So, here’s the thing. No one is married at the end of the marriage ceremony. In fact, you aren’t LEGALLY married until the licence is filed. As such, him wanting you to be married PRIOR to the celebration would be completely out of keeping with how marriages are usually performed.

What makes the most sense, if he still doesn’t want to get ordained himself, is to have someone else join you after the ceremony in a private location to do the legally required process and to be the one to actually sign the documents at the end of the wedding.

I found a website that spells out Canadian law:

There are only two requirements in the Act for words that must be used in the ceremony when it is performed by a marriage commissioner. Each of you must say: “I do solemnly declare that I do not know of any lawful impediment why I (state name) may not be joined in matrimony to (state name)”, and each of you must say to the other: “I call upon those persons present to witness that I do take you, to be my lawful wedded wife (husband).” 

So, I’d explain this to Father-In-Law and ask him to perform the ceremony, knowing the actual paperwork will be seen to directly after. If he’s still uncomforatble, you’ll have to either compromise on your wedding date, or your first look.

Post # 10
1851 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: December 2017

Where I live, the church doesn’t allow couples to do the church wedding until the legal wedding has been done. It’s normally between a day and a week before, though for international paperwork reasons we’ll be doing ours a couple of months before. Just so you know it’s not that weird for the legal papers to be signed before a religious wedding can be done.

For your situation, I’m not sure what to suggest. I wouldn’t want to do the legal wedding the same morning and miss out on the first look in the aisle. I wouldn’t want to ask him to marry you anyway, as as I’ve said it’s common for church weddings to have to come after legal papers have been signed. I’d probably just suck it up and do the legal wedding the day before.

Post # 11
120 posts
Blushing bee

Why don’t you do the paperwork early in the morning on the day of before you put on your wedding dress and do your hair/make up?

Post # 12
229 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2019 - UK

In many European counties you cant get a religions ceremony before the legal paperwork is done. It is very normal to have the civil ceremony early in the morning with a hand full of people and then change and have the religious ceremony later in the day. In some south American countries its the same, the civil ceremony is in the morning and the church ceremony in the evening.   

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