Post # 1
I don’t get it. My Maid/Matron of Honor is not wanting to stay in the cabin that the BM’s and I have rented for the bachelorette (we’re doing a mud run and then a casino afterwards) and keeps insisting that she’ll make her own accomodations. The point is for them all to get to know each other. Am I being unreasonable?
By the way, there is NO other lodging in the area, I’ve checked. So she would basically hang out with us until after our festiviites and then trek back to town 60 miles away.
Post # 3
It does seem a little odd, but if she’s uncomfortable with it then I would just respect her feelings and let it go. She doesn’t need to be bffs with everyone just to stand up in a wedding.
Post # 4
It does sound a little odd, but if she’s feeling this way, I would probably let it go. MOHs and BMs don’t have to be the closest of friends, they just have to coexist for your cause. Sometimes, it’s best to give your girls sufficient time apart where needed, so that drama doesn’t arise. Have fun at your bachelorette!
Post # 5
@Westwood: Yup, exactly. You can’t force people to become friends, and some people feel a bit awkward in certain social settings. Sleeping in a cabin is a relatively “intimate” setting; when I hear “cabin” I expect that I’ll need to share a room with at least one other person (maybe several) and I personally don’t feel comfortable lounging around in my pajamas with casual acquaintances or strangers, and in all honesty I’d probably do as your MoH wants to do and look for my own accomodations. It doesn’t mean I’m stuck up or don’t want to make new friends; it just means I have a lower tolerance for what feels like being too familiar than others might have.
Post # 6
Hm. I agree that’s a little odd. First, is she planning the bach party? If so that’s even odder. Is she one of those people that doesn’t do well with crowds and needs her own space? Is she short on money? Maybe have someone in the party that she has friction with? There are tons of possibilities out there. If it’s important to you that the bridesmaids all get to know each other, I would ask her what her reasons are. If she has valid reasons then you need to respect them. But if it’s just that she can’t afford it, or something like that, maybe you could come up with a solution that will make you both happy. When you talk to her try to be open and nonjudgemental so that she doesn’t get defensive. Good luck!
Post # 7
it does seem a little bit weird, have you sat down and spoken to her about this? Maybe she has a vaild reason? If you’ve spoken to her aleady I think you need to maybe accept her decision, rubbish as it is for you.
Post # 8
@Westwood: Well, I don’t think the Maid/Matron of Honor just ‘stands up’. The BM’s, totally. My Maid/Matron of Honor has been pretty absentee through this process (one of my BM’s has planned most things so far, bless her heart) so I figured that Maid/Matron of Honor would participate a little more once she was actually present, know what I mean? Guess not. 🙁 But you’re right, and my fiance said the same thing – maybe she’s uncomfortable staying with us for some reason. We don’t bite…and we’re really fun. *shrug*
Edit – no, we have only been talking over email because she’s incredibly busy and constantly flying everywhere – which is why I gave her a pass about the absenteeism. We live in two separate states so it’s not like I can just go over and be like ‘what up, yo?’. Thanks though. I would if I could! haha
Post # 9
@JenGirl: Ha! That would be hilarious. ‘Here is your party…..and I’m out.’ lol She’s got oodles of cash, her and her husband are doing pretty well.
@fishbone: Maybe. When we were kids it was basically the two of us against the world…now I realize this was probably more her preference than mine seeing as how open I am.