(Closed) Need a polite way to tell my coworker to shut up

posted 6 years ago in TTC
Post # 3
Member
1460 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

Just tell her that you’re flattered by her concern but due to what happened in the past (your mc) you would rather keep things between you and your Darling Husband until you have some good news to share.

Post # 4
Member
2195 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

Could you tell her a little white lie and tell her you’re going to take a TTC break for a while because of ____ ??! SAving money, planning a trip, spouse is not home etc…. ? Might help take the pressure off and avoid you having to have an uncomfortable chat with her about her being too nosy. :):)

Post # 5
Member
2854 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

@Sunshine09:  WOW! What an insensitive B! I’d tell her that every time she talks about or refers to a possible pregnancy, it makes you sad and angry because of what you’ve been through. Tell her it’s nice that she’s taken such an interest in your well-being and your life, but that you’d rather she not talk about it AT ALL anymore because it just upsets you. When you talk to her, concentrate more on the fact that it upsets you, than on the fact that it’s annoying, rude, and completely inappropriate.

Post # 6
Member
112 posts
Blushing bee

Try something like…

“So-and-so, thank you for being encouraging through all this! It really means a lot to me. But I was talking with my doctor and he advised I try to lower my stress levels by not thinking about it so much… so could you do me a HUGE favor and not bring anything up? I know that’ll be hard, right (laugh, laugh), but I think it’ll be good for me to try.”

It comes across as super sweet, so you’re not putting her on the defensive… in fact, it  makes her feel like she’s actually helping. Maybe? I have no idea what will work with a person like that, it’s got to be aggravating! But good luck!

Post # 7
Member
3314 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

Honestly, I’d be the type of person to tell her straight up that asking me those questions all the time is just cruelly reminding of my miscarriage and what I’m missing out on.  

Post # 9
Member
4284 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I think the PP gave great advise as always! I just wanted to pop in and send you hugs! This girl sounds overbearing!

Post # 12
Member
2515 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

i’m going to agree with StaceyA on this one. i have a co-worker who sounds exactly like yours. she gets very defensive and we’ve actually had issues in the past. now i just let things go with her so as not to cause drama. if i were you, i would just lie and say you’re taking a break from TTC for awhile. that way there won’t be any drama with her.

Post # 13
Member
13292 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Seriously placate her.  “(Coworker), thank you so much for your concern; it does truly mean a lot.  It’s hard for me to talk about sometimes, though, because of the trouble in we had in the past.  Do you mind not talking about my TTC?  I promise to let you know when good news comes!” (obviously when you’re comfortable telling her, haha)

Post # 15
Member
1018 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2010

Can you summon up some tears Cry when telling her that it’s hard for you to think about right now, in light of what happened?

Sometimes people are just the worst.

Post # 16
Member
2515 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

@Sunshine09:  yes. it sounds like we’re in very similiar situations. i work in an office of 10 people and my annoying co-worker is in her late 40’s. i don’t know about your co-worker but mine never had kids and i know that she wanted them so now anytime someone here has a kid or gets pregnant she gets really creepy about it. she has pictures of everyone’s kids hanging up in her cubicle as if they’re her kids and she makes a huge deal out of kid pictures hanging in other people’s offices. seriously creepy . i will not be sending her any pics of my future child. anyways, i just play nice and am surface friendly with her. if she’s in a bad mood, i steer clear! haha

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