Post # 1
Hi bees! First post here and of course it’s going to be a Sensitive Sally one… I know that you guys must feel as attached to your weddings as I do. I spend so much time researching, planning, organizing, overthinking and just working on our wedding. I truly enjoy working on this wedding as I am a planner by nature. Fiance has been super supportive and very involved with the planning. Every detail and decision, especially financially, is run by him. We are on a budget but thankfully it is not too tight. One of my biggest priorities is ensuring that we stay on point financially. Anyway, all this being said, I have people in my life that although they don’t mean to be rude, they do make little comments about what they think we’re spending or how we should be spending our money. I can’t lie. It absolutely makes me feel like crap and question all my decisions. I know this sounds silly, but am I going to regret all of this? It hurts when even my brother questions our Save-The-Date Cards because he thinks they are pointless and it’s like having “2 invitations”. Or hearing my MOH’s hubby say that our Save-The-Date Cards “look expensive”. It’s so frustrating to have people question how much things cost all the time. Not to mention, I shouldn’t have to feel like I have to explain how much money I saved on those magnet Save-The-Date Cards. Then to have my brother and his gf say, “well our wedding definitely won’t be as formal as yours…” in a condescending way, was needless to say, like a punch in the gut! I am NOT getting married at the Ritz or some fancy museum. Not that those places aren’t beautiful, but out of our budget. We are getting married at a local golf club that has a beautiful lawn and ballroom well within our budget. I’m going for more of a dressed-up party vibe. I want our guests to feel as if they must dress appropriately but to not feel as if they can’t get down on the dance floor. Ugh…I don’t know. I’m just annoyed and feeling as if they don’t get what I’m trying to do at all. Not to mention, having people question your theme, budget, and choices all the time is so hurtful considering how much time and effort I put into this whole wedding. Anyway, what do you guys think? Has this happened to any of you? Any words of support? Thanks in advance!
Post # 3
@jenjen2323: First off, its YOUR wedding!! Secondly, you don’t have to disclose what you are paying for anything if it’s your money. It’s none of their business! We are paying for ours and I usually only share money related things with family/friends when I save money somewhere and I am proud! lol In my opinion, your brother’s comment sounds like he might be a tad jealous of your wedding.
Don’t let what people say make you second guess what you and your fiance want for your wedding. This is your special day and what you choose to do is your decision!!!
Post # 4
Seriously, don’t worry about it. Weddings tend to bring out the worst in people for some reason. Your brother and his Girlfriend may be starting to think about their own wedding, consciously or unconsciously, and yours may not fit with their ideas and so they think it’s “bad”. Whatever! You and your Fiance are the only ones who need to be 100% content!
Post # 5
@jenjen2323: I agree with some of the other comments. It sounds like your brother and his Girlfriend may be a tad jealious. I have found in my wedding planning that for every single tiny detail of your wedding there will be at least one person who doesnt like it….. its a little annoying. Generally people have there own issues that are in the way of your ideas. For ecample they think “I could never afford that” so they ‘dont like it’.
Im in an awkward situation myself. My family doesnt have a lot of money so weddings are very tiny. I mean small. Both of my cousins had weddings in someones back yard. My older sister had a wedding at the Holiday Inn. My FIs family on the other hand has money (just not his immediat family unfortunatly). So his side is used to going to golf courses and castles.
So for every decision I make half the family thinks its too expensive and the other half thinks its cheap……… fun fun…. So really we just had to learn to tune out others opions because it is our wedding and we are paying for it so all of the choices are ours to make.
Post # 6
Here’s a boost – YOU ARE AWESOME. Go look in the mirror and say it like you mean it. As many times as you have to, until it feels good.
Post # 7
@candief: Thank you for the words of support! I do think that they might be a little jealous because they’ve been together for over 10 years and maybe they thought they’d be getting married first…who knows? I know he didn’t mean for it to come out in a rude way, but that’s how I took it. We are paying for most of ours too except for a few contributions from both dads and I am tired of second guessing everything all the time
@arathella: I would agree with that. Our styles are very different and so maybe they were just turned off by our dressier party vibe whereas they are more casual laid-back, guys in suits with sneaks. Gonna have to learn to tune everyone out!
@ImperialRed: I am finding the same thing with our wedding! My friends that have gotten married in recent years are completely understanding and are knowledgeable about the cost of these things. Those that got married decades ago or are not even close to that place yet are the ones that are big jerks about it. “Save your money and buy a house” being a frequent expression we hear. Ugh…I guess I have to accept that this whole wedding planning thing is not going to be this magical fairytale time of everyone being excited for you and everything going smoothly.
@lia22: Thank you!!! I love this! Showed it to Fiance and he laughed and said, “see??” You’re pretty awesome too!!
Thanks everyone for the boost. It definitely made me see that I’m not the only one and that those making these comments don’t mean to hurt your feelings. There’s usually other factors involved. You guys are awesome!!