(Closed) Need advice

posted 10 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
1074 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

I def. would NOT call off the relationship.  This is just one of prob many things you both will have to work on as a couple.  When you get married and things get stressful, you can’t just want to quit on the marraige.  It seems like he has ALOT of things he needs to sort out and getting married, he prob thinks would be very selfish on his part.  Sounds to me he doesn’t want to have you get involved with his problems.  YOU need to show him that you’re willing to do what ever it takes, even if that means holding the wedding off for a few months if you really do love him and don’t want to lose him.  That’s just opinion.  I’m kind of going through the same thing as you right now.

Post # 4
8351 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2011

I am sorry you are going through this, but the daughter thing may never get better. You need to have a serious talk with yourself about what it is you want out of thie relationship, then have a serious talk with your Fiance. I also suggest that you get couples counseling; separately and together, if you both want this to work. Your Fiance needs to get over his issues before you get married. And you need to come to terms with how things are going to be, if you do get married.

Post # 6
7975 posts
Bumble Beekeeper


On one hand, it’s great that he wants to build a strong relationship and be sure you’re on the same page before getting into marriage

On the other hand, when you guys get married, whether now or later, you WILL become this girl’s step mother, and you WILL have a relationship with her. Does his ex not know he is seeing someone? It’s understandable that she may be nervous about losing her daughter – I can only imagine it’s a natural fear, even if it’s not founded.

I think it’s really important that you guys keep talking through this. Communication is key, and it sounds like that’s what he wants. You may be able to save some of your deposits and such by postponing but still using the same vendors, if they’ll work with you.

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