Post # 1
We have very limited space at our venue.
My friend’s husband is unable to attend our wedding, and rather than come alone, she mentioned bringing her mother (whom we have never met) as her guest. The invite was addressed to Mr and Mrs, and since we are so limited on space, we would really rather only people we know be there.
How do I tell her this tactfully and without hurting her feelings?
Post # 3
The only thing you can do is to tell her the truth. I don’t think you can avoid hurting her feellings. If it were me, I would let her bring her mom. Maybe her mom would be her designated driver.
Post # 4
thanks noritake22. I like your positive outlook!
Post # 6
Hello – sorry to hear your dilemma! If you go by etiquette then technically you have given her a plus one, and it would be rude to retract it now. Aside from the fact it may hurt your friendship, you had counted on her bringing someone anyway right? I know its a pain in the neck, but you need to be careful you’re not going to ruin a perfectly good relationship over one day (albeit your wedding!)
Here’s my suggestion – don’t actually uninvite her husband/mum. Instead I would bring up in conversation how you’re worried about numbers and about people coming that weren’t invited or that you don’t know. Ask her if she had this problem at her wedding and ask her how she dealt with it. Two points – firstly you’re asking her advice so its not a confrontation, and secondly it might set the wheels in her head turning about how you feel about this – without you actually having to spell it out. Just be subtle and hopefully she’ll take the hint and come alone. If she doesn’t then there’s not much you can do as you had already invited her husband.
Lastly best of luck, it always seems people start to give you a headache closer to the day – and you’re getting married on my mums birthday!x
Post # 7
I would let her bring the guest. She shouldn’t have to go alone, especially if you have already reserved the space for an additional person.
Post # 8
I have to say, assuming she doesn’t know anyone else at the wedding, I’d let her bring her mother too! Sorry if that doesn’t help. If she does know others invited, then I’d just tell her the truth. Did she have a wedding? If so, she’ll absolutely understand where you’re coming from!
Post # 9
If it was me, I’d let he bring her mom too. But I realized there were plenty of people I didn’t know at my wedding, and didn’t have space issues.