- 7 years ago
- Wedding: August 2011
My fiancee is feeling depressed.
Backstory: when we first got engaged, I had spent the last year and a half building a small business, and he was still and still is in college finishing up his BSN. I finished college back in 08′ so he’s been in school longer than we, and caused a bit of a delay in plans. But we worked that out and found a happy medium. We both don’t have much of anything in savings, but had been dating for a very long time, seven years, and felt like we wanted nothing more than to be married. So when he proposed we discussed having the wedding AFTER he graduated so that he could take his NCLEX and start working right away to make some money and save it toward a house and that we would just use the money I was making to live on.
Currently: Well, about 6 months have past and my job is just barely making it possible to pay rent and then some. We have these BIG dreams, HUGE goals, to go to Europe and Greece (cause my family is greek) and learn real estate and both become healthy (i don’t like saying sucessful because it seems so money grubbing) business owners, buy a condo by the time we are 28, we are both 25 (well he will be april 22). However, the more time goes by, the more he begins to realize that my business isn’t going to be able to sustain us and we will have to live off of some of his earnings as well which will delay those goals.
Then his mother offers us the entire upstairs, master bedroom, bathroom, office and guest room, for us to live. I was so touched, because she knew how badly we wanted to start saving and achieve those goals. I thought it was a huge blessing because I love his family and I appreciate so much of thier lifestyle. My fiancee seemed on board with the idea… until today… he found out that his friends, a couple the just got married and another engaged couple were looking to BUY a condo. He told me he feels so behind in life, he’s tired of being in school and struggling. He does have a job as a CNA but hardly gets any hours because his clinical days are so long and over lapping. He wants so badly to be at a place that I can’t afford right now and i feel bad for him… and I also feel like I can’t do anything more than what I have been doing. Running and opporating a business is not like a normal hourly job.. and i’m doing the best I can but I’m just not making as much as he’d probably like in order to make those plans happen.
I’m not sure what to do. We are so blessed in so many ways. BOTH our families are very close and are paying IN FULL for the wedding, except for gifts and a few things that the bride and groom will need to pay for. And the fact that my mother-in-low is offering to let us stay with them like she is will save us rent at the least! I’ve felt like maybe he’s disapointed in my finances even though i’m really doing the best I can. I asked him what more he would want me to do and he replied, “you’re doing the best you can babe, I can’t expect anything else from you.”…
Yet, he’s still so depressed.
I dunno what to do. Or how to make him feel better about not being at a stage in his life he wants to be at. Watching his friends be there in the stage is killing him, but I cannot make the money to make those dreams happen for him.
What do I do bees?