(Closed) Need advice !!!

posted 8 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
255 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2011

I would try not to look at this as your SO choosing support from his friend over support from you, but instead as him feeling he needs to GIVE support to his friend. I’m sure he’s confident in the fact that he’ll have your unconditional support when he needs it and to get  through the weekend but I’d assume that if your SO and his roomie are so close, he probably feels its really important to be able to give his undivided attention to his friend. If you went with your SO he wouldn’t be able to do this as effectively.

Maybe you could come up with a compromise. Support your SO in attending the funeral and wake as he’d hoped to and maybe you could come on your own to the wake to briefly offer your condolences? As much as I agree its a nice gesture to show you’re over the past/appreciate this guys friendshipwith your SO… its more about him and his grief, not you and your relationship status with him.

Post # 4
3771 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: December 1999

I think this might bother me a little bit, but I wouldn’t want to risk  upsetting Bryan given the rocky past by showing up. You can still suppirt your Fiance on those days without going with him and I would send a sympathy card to Bryan to offer condolence and show that you are ready to move on from the past.

Post # 5
43 posts
  • Wedding: November 2011

I can understand where you are coming from but at the same time I can see his point too.

You said this is someone he would have considered an aunt so being that is the case he really probably does want one on one time with his buddy.

Another thing is, they have a bond that they’ve had since they were children. Before you were even in the picture, they want to feel that connection again and know that they aren’t alone in their feelings of their loss. 

I say, give him the space he is asking for and try to just understand. If you complain or nag ( even if you don’t mean to) about his requests he will end up resenting you. 

The topic ‘Need advice !!!’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors