(Closed) Need advice :(

posted 9 years ago in Waiting
Post # 17
Member
23 posts
Newbee

@jazmynju +1

yes, men can have friends of opposite sex and vice versa but if boobs and butts don’t matter what does it matter if she’s a mile away or a thousand miles away? It sounds as if maybe he didn’t trust himself. I don’t know the full story, but based on the little bit I know I would say talk to him and if you feel odd take the opportunity to read the messages. But after its cleared up you’ll have to decide whether you trust him and then do just that.

 

HTH! Good luck and happy waiting 🙂

Post # 18
Member
19 posts
Newbee

My heart goes out to you.  The only advise I can give is to calm yourself and wait…  Perhaps his intentions are exactly what he said.  One thing is forsure time will tell.  Facebook can be so misleading in a lot of ways.  Try not to read to much in to it.  Good Luck and I’m praying for you.

Post # 19
Member
1302 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

@Hyperventilate:  Seconded.

View original reply
@louloubelle84:  Unless *he* (not your ex) has given you reasons to mistrust him, I think you’re reading far too much into this.  He said the conversation was about his relationship with you, so take him up on that if you wish and ask to read the messages.  I don’t find it unusual to talk to a friend most days, do you?  It sounds like he’s going to her for the “female perspective”, trying to understand your POV and your need to move towards engagement.

As a PP said, if you can’t trust him to have a female friend, and not even in person, then you’ve got bigger issues to deal with and the engagement timeline should move waaayyyy down the priority list.

Post # 20
Member
158 posts
Blushing bee

My SO has female friends and I have guy friends/acquaintances so, to me, your SO having a female friend isn’t an issue.  What worries me is when your comment “He said he chose her because he knew she was far away (in his home state), so there was no way anything would happen.”   If he’s worried about being tempted, then THAT specific relationship isn’t purely platonic because there would be no way to be “tempted” if it was.

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