- 9 years ago
I’m a regular poster, but I think someone I know might follow me on here.
Background: I have a friend who is also getting married near the same time I am. She asked me to be a bridesmaid in their wedding. We have been close, but she is the kind that does not like to ever tell even her “best” friends what exactly is going on in her life. It’s her choice, but it also makes it hard to confide in her and so I wouldn’t consider us really close or best friends–we’re just good friends. My best friend is also her good friend, and her Maid/Matron of Honor in her wedding; I met my best friend first, and then became closer to my good friend through my best friend.
I had decided that I was not going to ask good friend to be in our wedding because she is getting married the month after and her best friend from high school with whom she keeps in contact is getting married the week after us; not only this, but she is also very prone to starting drama, and I couldn’t take that on my wedding day! It seemed like the best decision for all of us.
Then I slipped up. While changing our wedding website, I made our wedding party page visible–and my best friend was listed on our wedding party, which we had told everyone was going to be “family” only. We changed our minds very recently, but I had not yet seen her to talk to her about it, and why I wanted her to just relax and enjoy the wedding as a guest, with no added stress.
After her abruptly signing off of gchat in the middle of our conversation, I realized she must have seen the page, and attempted to make it better by reassuring her we had not finished talking to everyone, that I was sorry she had seen it and that I wanted to talk to her tomorrow (that’s today now). She just replied that it was my wedding and I could do what I wanted. I texted her back that yes, it is, but I hadn’t finished “doing what I wanted” and talking to everyone. She responded that she was very hurt but again, that it’s my wedding.
Well, my best friend is her roommate and called me to say that her fiance had come over and let himself in at nearly 1 in the morning last night, presumably because she is so upset over this–my best friend thinks she cried all night about it. She also has not talked to me today and while I’m not against talking to her first, I’m not even sure what to say to her.
My Fiance and I think her reaction might have been caused by something else. I never let on that we weren’t going to ask her and even told her that my Fiance had not finished asking anyone but his best man, so we still have a lot of asking to do! She ignored me then, not responding, and I have to wonder if we said the right thing. Please let me know what you think, Hive.