- 1 month ago
- Wedding: October 2017
Why did it take 11 years for him to go back to his kids if he left to go to school?
ETA: After reading through your updates, I would talk to your SO first, and discuss how his children have already had a lot of upheaval in their lives, and moving them to your house now would be an unnecessary and difficult adjustment. Then you can tell your SO that you’d like to discuss it with his mother and come to a general agreement. Mention specifically that you believe that the children are old enough to be part of the decision.
If you take the children in the children may grow to resent you and their father for disrupting their lives and living arrangement. If you then have a child with your SO, that resentment will likely increase. Having a child around this behavior will also increase the likelihood of behavioral issues as your child sees their stepsibling’s behavior.
I also wouldn’t plan on these children moving out as soon as they reach adulthood. If the children stay with you, and you wait to have a child until after they move out, you may run out of time biologically to have your own child. The rate of adult children living with parents has increased over the years.
Finally, if you have the children living with you, there is no guarantee that their behavior will improve, as their grandmother lives so close and has proven she will give into every demand. She will be undermining your authority for years to come.