(Closed) Need Advice about Inviting Assistant

posted 7 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
198 posts
Blushing bee

@misstwigg2011: I’m just going to put this out there. I’ve been the assistant for my manager for 3 years. We get a long very well and I know she thinks very highly of me. That said, I went to one of her fuctions last year and I felt AWKWARD. If it had been something more formal than a 4th of July party, I definitely wouldn’t have gone. I’ve since decided to keep my work and personal life separate because I just felt so weird being there.


ETA: Only you know your relationship with her. If you don’t think she would be uncomfortable I say go for it. Just make sure that there is no indication that attending or not attending would affect her job in anyway. 9 months is not a lot of time for an assistant to be with a manager and you don’t want your invitation to be misconstrued.

Post # 4
186 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I just went to my boss’s wedding. Had I not been recovering from a sprained ankle, I would’ve had a much better time. I’ve worked for my boss for 4.5 years now and I consider him to be a friend. We have a great working relationship, but also a great non-creepy or inappropriate personal relationship. I would have been very upset if I wasn’t invited. He is also invited to my wedding in October. And yes, I gave him a generous gift, about the same that I’ve given to most friends lately, but I wanted him to know that I appreciated him and what’s he’s done for me. 


You could always stick a note inside that says something like “Would love it if you could make it, but don’t feel obligated to go or send a gift. Your presence is gift enough.” or something to that affect. 


Also, if she does go, make sure she sits with people she knows (and give her a plus one). I sat with my coworker and some of my boss’s friends that I didn’t know at all, when I knew a decent number of people there. It was weird, but I’m happy that I went. 

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