- 4 months ago
My Fiance and I both come from divorced families.. his parents are both re-married (for a long while from my understanding). His dad has 2 step-daughters both whom are 5-8 years older than my fiance is. They seem to be over at his fathers a lot (we all live in the same area and to go into town we have to pass his dads so we pass by at least once a day). Beyond being over a lot his dad and step-mom seem to see her kids a lot more, talk to them more, and are far more generous with them.. like full room of x-mas gifts for them and 2 gifts for us. I let these things slide our first few years together but as we all get older its become clearer that they are loved by his dad and step-mom as their children and we are not treated the same. My fiance doesnt disagree with me but he says that its just how it is and we should show up more and hopefully it changes (we do show up a lot and beyond that we have tried many times to include them in wedding planning). It seems like when we do go over for birthdays etc the step-siblings are “home” and we are guests.. They are both really nice people but it seems like step mom has her “family” and we just arent it because we arent her blood. We are really generous to them when the step siblings had kids I sent multiple gifts, and visited in the hospital..we definitely try to put ourselves out there but it seems again that they all have their family and dont care..I even put his step moms sisters on our wedding list so his step mom could feel comfortable and that her family is now mine. Im not sure what to do going forward about this but I do know that I cant just “suck it up” for the rest of our lives.