Post # 1
I am not into the traditional “Who gives this woman…?” part of the ceremony. I live with my fiance, so I kinda have already been “given” to him, lol. My father will be walking me down the aisle. I had initially thought that when we got to the end of the aisle I’d just whisper “Thanks”, give him a hug, and then proceed with the ceremony.
However, my Dad strongly feels that something needs to be said, preferably to acknowledge all the people that have traveled to show their support. Initially I suggested (and my Dad agreed to), “Who supports this union?” and my Dad respond with something like “Her mother and I do, and all who love her.”
Buuut, after thinking on it, I don’t like this either. I don’t need anyone’s support to do whatever I want to do. Ima grown ass woman! I feel like it’s just adding something to be traditional, and our ceremony is NOT really traditional at all.
While I don’t really know what I would be looking for to say besides the option I mentioned above, I am desperately seeking alternative wording or suggestions. Please halp!
Post # 3
“Who presents this woman?” For me, I want it to be both my parents, they both raised me.
Post # 4
And no, we don’t NEED anyone’s support, but it’s nice that your family support it. It’s a time for them to show how proud they are of you and this big step you’re taking.
Post # 5
That is what I think I am conflicted about. I want to show respect to those that took time off work and wanted to come support us at our (Monday!) wedding, but I also don’t want to do something that isn’t “me/us”.
Also, my parents are divorced/remarried, so all my parents couldn’t fit down the aisle with me. 🙂
Post # 6
I like …
- Who supports this union? (We Do)
- Family and Firends, Will you guide this couple and bless this union? (Yes, we will)
- Who gives this couple their love and support during the lifetime of their marriage? (We do)
I have many couples that like these versions better than the “Whom gives this Woman to be wed to this Man?”
You can have only the parents answer or have all your guests answer.
Post # 7
Oooh, I didn’t think about this. I like the suggestions.
Post # 8
I think that is not the time or place to honor people who traveled to the wedding. Do that during the ceremony with a discussion of supporting the couple in their marriage, if you need to. And let your dad do a toast/speech at the reception.
I am not a commodity to be given away. Nor do I need approval of anyone to marry. Nope.
Post # 9
I was just going to suggest present, somebody beat me to it.
We didn’t say anything, but if you feel like you need to that’s nice wording.
Post # 10
@RevMic: I personall love, “Who gives this couple their love and support during the lifetime of their marriage? (We do)” I hope you don’t mind that I’m going to steal this for our wedding. 😉
Post # 11
We didn’t have that part at all. When I got to the end of the aisle with my dad, we just hugged and then I went up to stand with my husband.
It’s your wedding, do what you feel comfortable with.
Post # 12
We completely omitted that part. If you must include it, I would say “present”. But to me, it has the same meaning as “gives”, hence why we omitted it.
Post # 13
Post # 14
Thanks for the ideas/suggestions! I sent an email to my Dad essentially saying I’d rather not have anything said when we get to the end of the aisle, but I’ll just I hug him*, then have him sit down. I also told him that I’ll have the officiant doa “welcome/thanks for being here” speech at the beginning, and then perhaps have a short handwritten note at the back of the programs thanking guests for being there. My dad has already planned a speech for the reception, and will also be helping us in the wine box ceremony (so we don’t hurt ourselves while nailing shut the wine box he made us, lol).
*Then I think I’ll pass him a note that says, “Thanks for taking this walk with me – it won’t be our last.”
I just hadn’t heard of nothing being said when the bride/dad get to the end of the aisle, so it’s nice to hear that that is pretty normal/not totally uncommon! 🙂
Post # 14
I found this on a website recently, I like it as it shows that i have chosen my own husband and am not being ‘given away’, but it also symbolises that my father approves and respects that i am moving on from his family to create my own:
“who gives this woman to marry this man?” – celebrant
“she gives herself, and does so with my blessing” – father
Post # 15
Our officiant had us stand and face our guests just before our vows and said a nice line about how these were the people who had been there for and would be there in the future, etc. I think just after that she said something along the lines of, “Who presents this woman in marriage today?” To which my dad was supposed to reply “Her mother and I do.” (Funny note – dad missed his cue so I turned to him and kind of motioned. Can’t wait to see it on our video!)