(Closed) Need advice and help on how to tell mom her A-hole BF is NOT invited!!!!

posted 10 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 17
Member
2681 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@les105:  I totally agree.

Post # 18
Member
179 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2001

If your Fiance puts his foot down and says “no way!”, then I would not invite the BF.  He seems to have a very strong opinion on the BF, and I would rather have my Fiance happy on my wedding day than my Mom.  Honestly, I wouldn’t be super accomidating to my Mom if she was still with a guy who called me a whore.

Post # 19
Member
1304 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

@35thannidaughter:  Thanks for posting that!  I was starting to feel like the only one.  Lol.  I definitely feel the B&G’s feelings trumps the BF’s in this case especially given how disrespectful the BF has been towards the OP and her Fiance.  

Post # 20
Member
450 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

@MeganTacky2247:  Honestly, I wouldn’t invite him. Your mom should want to be there for you whether he is invited or not. If it was me, I would respect FI’s wishes (and mine), and I would tell him he is not welcome. Forget etiquette. It also says that you don’t have to invite SO’s. It is up to you two who you want to invite. Just my opinion though and I know it is opposite of most previous posts.   

Post # 21
Member
7321 posts
Busy Beekeeper

Your mom is a grown woman, and regardless of her crappy relationship decisions, I think at this point to not invite him would only be causing more drama.

Post # 23
Member
35 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I know it could blow up in your face but I honestly wouldn’t invite him. Any mother should understand that no bride wants to be walking happily down the aisle and look to their right and think “There’s the guy who called me a who*e and who could potentially ruin my wedding day.”

Post # 24
Member
1187 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I think you should invite him. It’s your mom, if it was anyone else maybe not, but for your mom, invite him.

Post # 25
Member
662 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

Does the BF even want to go to your wedding? I can’t imagine someone who has such strong negative opinions on the two of you would want to be there.

Post # 26
Member
2360 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I wouldn’t invite a grown man who called me a whore to my wedding, regardless of how he was related to me. Then again I wouldn’t speak to my mother if she dated a guy who called me a whore either. I’m a big believer in lie in the bed you make – don’t insult someone if you want to go to their wedding.

Post # 27
Member
252 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

I would never invite someone who called me a whore to my wedding.

I also wouldn’t invite anyone I thought might cause a scene, which sounds like may happen if mom’s BF is there.

Your fiance doesn’t want him there, and it’s HIS wedding. Sorry, but he is more important than mom on that day.

Post # 28
Member
2360 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012
Post # 29
Member
1395 posts
Bumble bee

I am dealing with something very similar, but with my dad.  It is kinda shitty when a parent won’t peel themselves away from a person who they know is toxic to attend their child’s wedding, but that is reality for me, and obviously you too.  I think it is awful for a parent to say, “I’m not coming to your wedding if my partner in dysfunction can’t also attend, given that we are on-again during that time!”

My Fiance is adament that my dad’s gf not be at our wedding.  He hates her.  There is a long story behind it, but just know she is horrible.  I can’t tell my dad she can’t come with him.  Then, he won’t come.  So, I am torn on what to do.  I guess she’s invited, and I will just have to have someone watching her like a hawk to make sure she isn’t stealing from my cardbox and guests.

Post # 30
Member
1395 posts
Bumble bee

@MrsJazzy:  I totally agree!

This isn’t your typical situation of choosing whether or not to give a plus one to guests.  OP’s mom’s bf is a drama starter.  He obviously does not like OP.  That should be enough for OP’s mom to get rid of the scumbag, but at the very least, she should understand why this loser isn’t invited. 

The topic ‘Need advice and help on how to tell mom her A-hole BF is NOT invited!!!!’ is closed to new replies.

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