(Closed) Need advice asap! Fiancee got multiple lap dances at bachelor party =(

posted 9 years ago in Emotional
Post # 47
Member
1616 posts
Bumble bee

@Nautigirl:  Oy things like this bother me for some reason. Why is it called a LAP dance if there are no LAPS involved! It should be called a “personal space” dance!

It sounds way more accurate! 

Post # 48
Member
1018 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

@KatyElle:  Agreed.  Snarky, but true.  

Post # 49
Member
4134 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2013 - The Liberty House

I think the best thing for you to do is to go for a run and eat a healthy meal. It seems like if you’re so insecure that a bunch of tan, skinny women were around him (implying that you’re not that way), all this is stemming from your own insecurities. What better way to get over it than to consider yourself their equal? It would start with taking action to feel better about yourself instead of crying about it. Put the strippers behind you, he followed your rules and it doesn’t seem like he will do it again.

Post # 50
Member
8 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: December 2012

@lanalnoco:  

I totally agree, he’s getting by on a technicality.

She said no kissing or touching, but strippers were fine. She didn’t say a lapdance was ok. There is a difference between watching a stripper from a distance and having an upclose and personal lapdance.

Post # 51
Member
100 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

@Chrysoberyl:  I dunno, I didn’t name them. 🙂  I’m not this girl but if it was me and I was that  concerned about what goes on in such clubs I’d ask my Fiance to take me to one. Once you see for yourself it’s far less intimidating and to be honest it can be a really sexy experience with a partner. 

Post # 52
Member
189 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: February 2013

I’m sorry to hear you are feeling this way! 

Honestly strippers don’t bother me.  You know why?  Because they are NEVER as hot as they are protrayed on TV or in Playboy.  NEVER.  Unless he went to Scores in Vegas – then yes they probably were hot. 

You allowed your Fiance to go to a strip club – so I’m not sure what you thought he would do.  Just drink and throw money at the strippers? He says he’ll never go in them again – so I think you should just drop it.  I know it’s hard but he’s marrying you! Not some skeezy stripper.  Laughing 

Post # 53
Member
669 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

atleast he didnt lie. you didnt have to find out via snooping through an email, phone. he told you, alteast give him that much credit.

Post # 54
Member
982 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

[Comment moderated for snark]

Post # 55
Member
1616 posts
Bumble bee

@Nautigirl:  Hey that actually might be a good idea. Though I’m kind of a jerk and if I went I’d go out of my way to make the strippers feel awkward, like letting one dance up to me and then just start pretending to pick my nose with a blank stare on my face. But like I said, I’m a jerk! Hahahaha

Post # 56
Member
2492 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2018

What advice are you looking for? Either you accept the situation for what it is, or you don’t. I do not like the idea of girls dancing all over my SO, but he is so shy and quiet he’d never agree to even go to a strip club.

Sounds like you are feeling insecure- this is more about you than him…

Post # 57
Hostess
1606 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

He followed your rules.  It was just a lap dance with random strippers.  He didn’t take them home with him.  He comes home to you.  I’m sorry you’re really upset about it, but he didn’t do anything wrong.  Try to get the image out of your head (I know it’s probably hard), and move past this.  This isn’t something to ruin your wedding and future over.

Post # 58
Member
100 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

@Chrysoberyl:  they only dance up to you after you pay them. 😉 Any time I’ve gone the guys I’ve been with were much more interested in watching me get lap dances than getting them themselves.  My biggest problem has always been picking a stripper I thought was even remotely hot to dance for me (and I ‘ve been to all kinds of clubs in 5 cities – they really are for the most part average women with generally good surgeons lol) 

Post # 59
Member
1616 posts
Bumble bee

@Pokemon:  In response to your “I’m going to call troll” have you seen this post? 

Ladies, we need to address a growing problem in the Hive lately: name-calling.  We have received a growing number of flags from users reporting suspected “trolling” in the Hive.  We appreciate those flags, they give the moderators a heads up when one of our members feels that “something is just not right.”

However, lately we’ve seen too many people accusing newbees of being trolls.  It is alienating, inappropriate, and most of all unsupportive of that person.  Troll-calling is a personal attack, and these posts may be deleted.  Many times these posters are actually established WB members posting under psuedonyms because they are embarassed to post as themselves.

Internet discussion boards will always have trolls come and go, especially as they continue to grow like WB has in the past year.  The Mod team actively investigates all flags, and users who are caught trolling are banned when there is evidence to prove that is the case.

We are asking the Hive, please, if you suspect a member is instigating drama on our boards for the purpose of gaining attention (which is the true definition of a troll), please flag the post and IGNORE IT.  Do not reply with insinuations, insults, or other forms of harassment.  Many members found WB through search engines, and we were all “wannabees” at one point.  New members are not automatic suspects simply because their first post “is dramaz.” 

Post # 60
Member
6580 posts
Bee Keeper

I’m not sure about where others live, but here in Canada, guys can go to a strip club to just watch. They don’t HAVE to get a lap dance. He made the decision to get one, it was a poor decision. But he admits it was and he apologized. So he is trying to make it right.

I’m with you OP, a lap dance counts as touching. I’d be VERY upset too. Sit down and talk to your Fiance again, make sure he knows exactly how hurt you are without making him feel worse. He made a mistake but this isn’t worth ruining the relationship. Talk it out and move past it.

Post # 61
Member
86 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I am wondering why he would text you to let you know he had 6-7 lap dances.  Kind of insensitive to your feelings in my opinion.

The topic ‘Need advice asap! Fiancee got multiple lap dances at bachelor party =(’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors