(Closed) Need advice asap! Fiancee got multiple lap dances at bachelor party =(

posted 8 years ago in Emotional
Post # 121
Member
401 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: Royal Park Hotel

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jro87:  So many women are obsessed about looking like the “cool wife” so they pretend to be 100% fine with strippers when I don’t buy it for a freaking second.  I know lots of women that are supposedly fine with strippers but if they catch their man even TALKING to another woman they go nuts.  Puh-lease.

And I’m sure there are women out there who legit don’t have a problem (not as many as so many claim) but that’s beside the point.  The OP set out rules and the groom agreed and that’s THEIR business within THEIR relationship.  It is 100% pointless for a snarky bee to then get on here and tell her that she’s wrong or being ridiculous.  

Post # 122
Member
401 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: Royal Park Hotel

You also gotta love the women that come to the defense of the groom:

“His friends were probably buying the dances for him and giving him a hard time.  What do you expect him to do????”

Uhhhh….say no.  Leave.  Don’t go in the first place?  This is peer-pressure basics 101.  Any normal adults past the age of college-level should be able to handle this.

Post # 123
Member
398 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: February 2015

Don’t be hurt by the people who are claiming that he stuck to your “no touching” rule…I find it difficult to believe that someone could dance on a lap without touching the person. I have to imagine that, at the very least, her legs would touch his legs from time to time. I have also heard that the women will sometimes touch the guys’ faces or shoulders. So yes, it is likely that touching happened. The important thing is that your fiance truly understands, no excuses, why what he did was wrong and how it hurt you. Assuming he’s a good guy at heart (and I’m going to assume he is, that’s why you’re marrying him!), that’ll be all the reason he needs to not do it again.

As for you getting over it, that’ll take time. Let yourself be hurt, but over the next few months, also let yourself heal. 

Post # 124
Member
6014 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: March 2012

yeah this OP was from 2years ago … I hope she’s been able to work though this.  That said … meh DH went to strip clubs all over the world before we met even.  They went to the club for his Bachelor party and no I didn’t care.  The bell was rung on seeing strippers before I came along. 

  • This reply was modified 5 years, 11 months ago by  .
Post # 125
Member
1065 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

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Derp:  I know this was from a long time ago, but +10000. Some of these women have completely drank the Kool-Aid. I have actually been to a strip club. And YES, they were all model hot. And YES, they are putting their asses and breasts right in the men’s faces, kissing one another for men, rubbing all over them. Hey, it’s their job. But I have no idea why women think men deserve to have access to naked women. They don’t “need” this. Hell, if we lived in a society with no jealousy or concept of monogamy, I would love to go out and sleep with other people! But I don’t. I don’t know why men get a free pass. We are talking about boundaries of respect within a relationship. Obviously she didn’t want her Fiance physically interacting with the women, only looking. And then women defend the behavior and blame the girl for being upset. It’s so dumb, so self-defeating. How can any woman be cool with her husband going out and PAYING a gorgeous woman (whose job it is to have a rocking body) to give him a hard-on and whisper in his ear?

Post # 126
Member
1 posts
Wannabee
  • Wedding: July 2016

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Telsey:  I know this was an old blog but what if fiancé went alone, had at least 6 lap dances and spent over $500? 

Post # 127
Member
369 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

I don’t mean to sound insensitive…. So right off the bat, I’m sorry! I hate you feel upset and betrayed! I get your upset but the truth is he did nothing wrong!!! Guys at bachelor parties push lap dances on the groom! It’s fun for them! They cost like $20! No stripper is going to do any more than shake her ass in his face, maybe put her breast in his face and maybe a bit more! That’s it!!!! Unless he went back in the Champangne room or the Boom Boom room I HIGHLY DOUBT anything more than that happened! Plus let’s focus on this, he was upfront with you about it. Your freaking out because you’re insecure! Not because he did anything wrong! Put on your big girl panties! You got a good guy there! Marry him and don’t punish him for a night of drinking and fun with his boys! Here’s an idea!!! Maybe go onetime together as a couple! My hubs and I do it every now and then! It’s fun! I think maybe what you think in your head is way worse than reality! Best of Luck Bee!

Post # 128
Member
369 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

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sunflower22:  you touch you get kicked out! These rules are strictly enforced! The guys that go know this and out to much of a pussy to try their luck!

Post # 129
Member
1418 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2016

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newbe:  Then you don’t call him “fiance” anymore and pack your bags.

Post # 130
Member
538 posts
Busy bee

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newbe:  Is that what happened to you? If so, make a new post and tell us the story! The bees here give great, varied and thoughtful advice (and yes, we enjoy a good story too…)

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