Post # 1
So i got my BFP yesterday and I am beyond happy!! I’m so excited for the next 9 months. So far only my Darling Husband and I know. I’ve got my booking appt with the doc on Tues (5th Nov) and I’m planning on telling my Mum next week.
My Boyfriend or Best Friend got a BFP 2 weeks ago, I was with her the night she tested, but she found out that it was ectopic a few days later 🙁 She and her Darling Husband have been trying for around a year with no luck and I think she’s now going in for a lap sometime before Christmas. She got the injection to clear the ectopic, and her latest betas were something like 17 so the doc was happy with how it was progressing. She’s been told she can’t TTC for 6 months.
My dilemma is: I don’t know whether to tell her about my pregnancy – if she hadn’t been through all that I would most definately tell her as I would appreciate her support if (God forbid) something happened, along with being able to celebrate with her! But I don’t know whether its too close to her loss to tell her. I wouldn’t want to wait until 12 weeks when we are telling everyone else, maybe I should just wait a few weeks (I’m still REALLY early at 4 weeks today).
I feel so awful for her that this happened to her, but I also (a little selfishly) feel bummed it all didn’t work out for her as it would have been so cool that we would have been 2 weeks apart!
So what do you think bees, what the right thing to do??
Post # 3
@MrsDD: It’s a tough one. You could tell her now becuase if, God forbid, something happens you would have someone who understands you, but you could wait a little longer since it doesn’t seem to bother you to wait some time.
I didn’t tell my BFF until I was just shy of 12 weeks. I told her before we announced it publicly, but I waited until I was in the clear in case I would have lost it. I think she would have helped me out, but I think I would have felt better grieving on my own.
My friend was super excited for me, and perhaps your friend will be too. I would tell her in a few weeks. I don’t want this to sound insensitive, but you can’t tip toe around other’s feelings. Pregnancy and other people becoming pregnant is going to happen, and while she has every right to grieve for al long as she needs to, she should try to be happy for you and know that her time will come too 🙂
Post # 4
I would wait a few weeks.
Post # 5
@MrsDD: I would wait. I am also in a similar situation and I am not going to tell my BFF until a little shy of 12 weeks. I will still tell her before the public. I am afraid she will compare herself to me and feel bad/jealous. I don’t want to make her feel bad and I don’t want negative energy around me anyway. I think it’s traumatic to go through a loss and she needs time to grieve before she can celebrate someone else’s happiness.
Post # 6
I would wait. If anything, take what happened to her as a learning lesson. So many things could happen between now and 12 weeks and it would be best to save her any additional sadness if possible.
I went through an ectopic in February and each pregnancy, until I became pregnant again, was very very hard to deal with. Especially during the months we weren’t even allowed to try.
Post # 7
Thanks for all the replies, I totally agree with you all and will wait it out, its nice to have a second opinion with these things!