(Closed) Need advice before making a big decision!!!

posted 9 years ago in Emotional
  • poll: Book the Florida wedding or Start Over with the wedding plans??
    Book the Florida wedding!! It's the bride and groom's day!! : (25 votes)
    93 %
    Change the venue so it is convenient for family : (2 votes)
    7 %
  • Post # 3
    Hostess
    18637 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2009

    I would book the Florida place.  It sounds like a really nice affair and honestly it doesn’t seem like your brothers would want to go either way.  Since your mother can go, that is all that matters.

    Post # 4
    Member
    4123 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: October 2010

    Have you talked to your brothers personally?  Or is this all from your mom?  How far away are they?  do you have friends they can stay will to cut hotel.

    I think that you need to go to the source and talk to THEM, they should be able to save enough by then… and if they aren’t will to work it out then it doesn’t matter where it is. Talk to them, see what you can do to help cut their costs by finding free lodging, etc.. and book your dream.  

    Post # 5
    Member
    521 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: December 1969

    I would also book the Florida place. It sounds like what you would want. And, honestly there are five months for your brothers family to save before they have to go so they should be able to swing it (or maybe tax returns? or something). Maybe they can share a room together? Drive down instead of flying? Eat in rather than planning on going out while down there?

    I also think that you should speak to your brothers: is there any other reason that would keep them from attending a wedding? You’re their sister: money shouldn’t be keeping them away because they have enough time to put some aside. There’s way to make it happen. In my opinion.

     

    Post # 7
    Member
    4123 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: October 2010

    Well, if he’s worried about traveling with the baby and his wife doesn’t want to miss her mom’s birthday, then perhaps he should come alone.  you are his sister, this is YOUR wedding day.  

    Book the date, tell your mom that no matter what, her presence is the most important in your life and that she is all you need.  Tell her your brothers will do what they can but no matter what it will be OK, and try and reassure her so she doesn’t stress.  

    Post # 8
    Member
    1091 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: August 2018 - Oakland Manor

    Have you thought about Assateuge, or a wedding at Sandy Point in the summer? that way it’s still small and a beach wedding, but close enough for them to travel to?

    Post # 10
    Member
    541 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: December 2010

    I would book the Florida wedding. You can not keep changing to accomodate people (family or not) that are not trying to accomodate your request. You found something that you are excited about and can afford and I think that you should move forward. If they want to be there, they will.

    Post # 12
    Member
    81 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: July 2009

    Gooooooo FL!

    If your brothers don’t make an effort (have you talked with them about it? one/on/one?) Perhpas you can celebrate with them and their families the next time everyone is together. Would you now have the extra $$ to pay for some of their trip?

    Post # 13
    Member
    2640 posts
    Sugar bee

     I would go ahead and do the FL wedding.  (But that’s because in this scenario I would say “forget them” if they didn’t want to come.  If having certain guests was more important to me, I would have it at home to make sure those folks were there to celebrate with me.)  I would suggest just working on trying to calm your mom down.  

    I’m not saying you’re wrong, but anytime someone plans a Destination Wedding, it puts more of a burden on guests to come, family or not.  From their standpoint they might be thinking that you’re citing lack of finances as a reason to make the wedding a Destination Wedding.  But that makes it a larger financial burden (as well as time) for them to go to your wedding.  Maybe they don’t think OOT weddings is the way to have a wedding.  IDK.  But while it’s disappointing not to get that support from your brothers, I think you have to chose what’s best/most important to you.  They’ll be doing the same.

    Good luck.

    Post # 14
    Member
    1230 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: May 2010

    I agree that you should definitely do what you want to do and what you feel comfortable in doing. It’s too bad that it sounds like your brothers won’t be able to make it to your wedding, but I think you should do the Florida wedding and not worry too much about whether or not they can make it.  

    Post # 15
    Member
    1765 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: July 2015

    Yep, I’d book the florida wedding, too. And honestly? Yes, ok, Mom’s birthday is important, but she has one every year. You don’t get married every year, and you are his sister. I think that they’re kind of just looking for a way out, and who knows if they would have shown up if you had it in Baltimore, either.

    Good luck. I would just tell your mom that you’re so happy that she was able to make it/will be able to make it.

    Post # 16
    Member
    347 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: September 2018

    Do what makes YOU happy.  We all fall into the trap of trying to please everyone when planning a wedding, but no matter who you are and where your wedding is, not everyone is going to be 100% thrilled with your decision.

    There will always be drama, and as long as you and your fiance do what YOU want to do, that’s all that matters.  After all, you’re the only two getting married 🙂

    Go to Florida!! Get some sunshine and happiness in your life!

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