Post # 1
Hey Bees! I could really use some advice.
I am getting married in June and have 4 bridesmaids. 2 live locally, and 2 live in other cities. 3 of the 4 went with me in December and we picked out a dress from David’s Bridal. I told them they could wait until after the holidays to order if they couldn’t afford it right then. I figured DB was a good choice since they are priced pretty reasonably and they have so many locations – all of the girls could actually try a dress on before ordering it.
Well, here we are, mid-January. 2 of the girls ordered their dresses right away (the local ones) and have already received them. The other 2 have not. I called David’s Bridal this morning and they said the dress has an 8 week delivery time right now.
I even sent friendly reminders whenever there was an online sale thinking it would remind them without me being bossy or rude.
Last week I texted the two remaining girls and asked them to please order their dresses soon, because we’re cutting it close if the delivery is delayed or alterations take longer than expected. It has been a week an neither one has ordered yet.
Am I out of line for being upset by this? Would it be rude for me to just tell them that I will order the dress for them so it isn’t late and they can pay me back later? I don’t want to seem like a bridezilla, but this is really stressing me out.
Post # 3
I think you need to give them a hard deadline, instead of using the word, “soon.” Tell them it must be done by that date.
Post # 4
@sarahmichelle: Order them only if you are prepared to suck up the cost if they don’t pay you back.
Otherwise you can sit back and wait to see if they order the dresses in time for delivery and alterations.
Post # 5
@sarahmichelle: Don’t let it stress you out. If it was March it would be a different story.
Unless there is a chance of the dress or colour becoming discontinued I wouldn’t get too hyped up.
Can you send them another reminder with a solid deadline?
ie. Your dress must be ordered by February 28th
Post # 6
- Wedding: April 2014 - Italian Villa
@sarahmichelle: First off, deep breath, sister!
I totally understand where you are coming from, but it’s just barely after the holidays- give your girls more time to take the plunge. Maybe they are waiting for their next paycheck? 8 weeks from now would be in March, 3 months before your wedding, so I think there is still time. I would leave them alone for a month and then check in again.
I know you are worried about delivery times getting longer (I would be, too), but I don’t think you can offer to order them withut seeming pushy. I figure if you remind them again in a month, that would be reasonable. That gives them time to pay off the holidays, and you will still have 16 weeks of lead time.
Post # 7
@sarahmichelle: I agree with PP that you should give a hard deadline. However, if your profile date is right, then it’s still six months out before the wedding, and if the dresses have an 8-week production time then I can understand why your BMs may not feel like they need to order their dresses right this minute. I do think it’s wise to order in advance in case there are any issues and a dress needs to be sent back, but perhaps it’s just a bit early to be stressing out quite so much? I understand your frustration though!
Post # 8
I think the suggestion of setting a hard deadline is a must. I will use the example of our tuxes. We set a deadline by the end of January in October. My brother, to my surprise, went in right away. Two friends got in as well, and we pushed my dad in the store when he was visiting. We are still waiting on 4 people and we are nervous. My girls had a deadline of October 10th, as that was the date the store wanted. Everyone was paid by October 10th.
Post # 9
@something_orange: I agree about the deadline. You could even say that David’s Bridal gave you the suggested deadline if you don’t want to make it sound like you set the deadline yourself.
You still have time, so don’t panic yet. See if you get anywhere with a hard deadline first. 🙂
Post # 10
Thanks guys! I’ll give them a hard deadline and see if that works!
The only reason I am so paranoid is because when the first two girls ordered theirs, they arrived in a few weeks. Now DB is saying it’ll take 8 weeks, and I’ve heard SO MANY horror stories of the dresses not coming in on time.
I have a friend who ordered a dress and it was delayed so much that it showed up a week before it was needed and she had to pay extra for rushed alterations.
If it was me, I’d rather have it hang in the closet for 3 months than show up a week after I need it. Then again, I’m not a procrastinator by any stretch so I guess it’s just my personality shining through :-p
Post # 11
I’m having the same issue. I emailed my girls back in October and gave them a hard deadline of February 15. Nobody ordered until after the holidays (fine by me) and then my Maid/Matron of Honor sent out a reminder. After that, one girl ordered and another said she’d order that weekend (she actually didn’t). So I sent a reminder yesterday saying they only have one month to get their orders in and while talking with them today the remaining three (including the one who said she was ordering hers a week ago) are all like “yeah, we’ll get around to it.” Our place is quoting us 12-14 weeks for delivery so that deadline is serious and I don’t know what to do other than bug them every single day and make them hate me by June.
Post # 12
My wedding’s in April… still waiting for at least one or two girls to order. Thankfully DB is quick so hopefully there will be no issues.
Post # 13
I guess an important piece of information regarding this – one of the bridesmaids who hasn’t ordered is ALSO planning her own wedding (in April) and I am in her bridal party as well. I can’t help feeling like she doesn’t care about my wedding since hers is first. Obviously hers is more important than mine (haha) but it literally takes 5 minutes to walk into the store, try on a dress, and pay for it.
@luluvohn: that’s what I’m trying to avoid too!!
Post # 14
@sarahmichelle: this happened to my SIL and I was stuck with the bad consequences…maybe relay this to your BMS- one of my SILS other bridesmaids waited almost 3 months to order…
To make a long story short we didn’t get our dresses until 4 weeks before the wedding. Mine apparently had a spot on it so they had to re-order mine and I didn’t get it until 2 weeks before.
I had never tried on the dress ( my SIL ordered it Out of Town, the wedding was DW) just sent in my measurements and It was really snug around my ribs. If we had more time I would have sent mine back and ordered a size up. But because the one bridesmaid took forever everything was really rushed and I spent a very uncomfortable day at my brothers wedding 🙁
Post # 15
I think you are jumping the gun. Your wedding is in June? And it takes 8 weeks to get the dresses, so essentially 2 months? Why should they have to order them now? Maybe they can’t afford it right now. I know I haven’t had a paycheck since Dec. 19th because of the holidays (work for the state and we get paid the last working day of each month), so maybe they are waiting on money.
Post # 16
I think you are still OK with timing, but if you are worried, definitely give them a specific deadline. If you are concerned with feeling bossy, blame it on the dress shop. Say that the sales lady said she can’t guarentee the dresses will arrive on time unless you order by XXXdate. Hopefully they will see that as someone with authority who knows the business is telling them what they need to do, rather than you. Also, try telling them a deadline that’s earlier than the real deadline… that way you still have some wiggle room even if they are late.
I know the feeling of being worried about feeling bossy. Some of my friends, while I love them dearly, aren’t exactly timely, on the ball types of girls, so I feel like I’ve had to do a little (or lot) of nudging to make sure things get done on time. On one hand I know it will get done eventually, but on the other, the stress of worrying over things happening at the last minute is scary! I like to do everything early to avoid any potential issues.