Post # 1
I need advice as I have no one to talk to in my personal life without causing relationship issues…
I currently am a full time student who was working full time as a receptionist with my husbands family for 2 years. However they just let me go this week because I have no plans of getting licensed and moving up in the company in the future. This has caused huge issues because now I’m jobless and having an extremely hard time finding a full time job that isn’t working a minimum wage paying job. I have known they were letting me go for a while now so I started looking for a job about 2 months ago with no luck.
Anyway, husband doesn’t understand how hard it is to be a full time university student and work a full time job as well as have a personal life. I was just offered an interview as a nanny working half the hours with as much pay as my job with him and he’s upset with me because he said he doesn’t want to say his wife is a nanny. He keeps telling me that I have time to find a new job but he only gave me till the end of this month to find a job and we can’t make it without me having an income.
He also works for the company I was working with and he’s in the process of studying to become licensed. His only two things he’s worrying about is work and getting licensed for work. He also just signed up for school this semester to get a degree but was expecting me to take his class for him. After his disrepectful comments I told him he needs to take his own class in additon to work and study.
I feel he doesn’t understand what I’m going through and when I try to talk to him about it he just keeps saying yes I do and it’s not that hard.
Please bees, I need some advice. I feel this is ruining our relationship.
Post # 2
mvz22 : make no mistake—YOU are NOT the one ruining your relationship here, bee.
Post # 3
mvz22 : I worked as a nanny through undergrad and my first year of grad school. It’s a great job! It’s fun and easy, the pay is great, and I never came home too drained to study. Your husband needs to get over himself. He needs to introduce you as his amazing wife who is currently a student. And people will say “Studying what?” and he will tell them. Go get the nanny job, girl.
Post # 4
It doesn’t sound like he’s supportive of you. I also can’t wrap my head around your comment that he signed up for a class but expected you to take it for him. That’s a huge lack of intergrity in my book.
FWIW, there is absolutely nothing wrong with being a nanny, and him looking down on that shows he has his own issues.
Between the lack of integrity and him being wrapped up in labels/titles – is this someone you really want to build a life with?
Post # 5
mvz22 : Sorry….he doesn’t want a ‘wife that is a nanny?’ It’s really tough being a full time uni student and working a full time job! Really tough so I hear you and respect you for doing both. Think about what you want to do, the Nanny job sounds like good money and less hours and if he’s not happy with having a wife that is a Nanny – then that’s his issue.
Post # 6
He was expecting you to take his class for him???
I can’t believe his family fired you while you are a student. There are a lot of things that aren’t right with your situation.
Post # 7
Your husband sounds like a tool. Between the “I can’t tell people my wife is a nanny.” as if he’s too good for an honest day’s work and expecting you to take a class for him, I would seriously be questioning who the fuck did I marry?
If he can’t support you trying to better yourself then I don’t see how this marriage will work. You will either do what he wants and possibly resent him or you will do what you want and he will be angry at you. For the record, any job that’s not illegal is a perfectly acceptable job and if someone wants to look down their nose at you for it then they can shove it
Post # 8
i agree with previous bees, he sounds like its below him for him to take his own classes and dictate the job oportunity before you. i would take the nanny job and tell him to stick it up his… bank account when u generate an income. he will get over it
Post # 9
??? He “only GAVE you till the end of the month” to find a job? And then what? You get a spanking? Sent to bed without dinner?
He expects you to do his class work for him? Um, no. That’s cheating.
Take the nanny job. If he doesn’t want to say his wife is a nanny, there are some options: 1. You could divorce him so he wouldn’t have a wife 2. He could tell people you’re an astronaut or 3. He could get the F&%# over himself.
He sounds terrible, sorry.
Post # 10
what’s wrong with being a nanny? it doesn’t matter since you’re also a full time student and only have a few hours to fill in for jobs. i know it’s really hard to work full time when you’re also a full-time student. and for your husband who asked you to take his class for him, he needs to grow up really.
Post # 11
this thred made me so sad bee!
as per happiekrappie : YOU are not doing anything wrong here.
INFACT you’ve made strides while being thrown on your ass to fix the situation and get yourself into another job!
you were let go BEFORE you were able to find another job from a FAMILY BUSINESS… that to me is ridiculous. I don’t know the situation but if you have ‘been given’ one month to find a job I’m sure they could have kept you on board while you were looking. Your husband being apart of this business should have ALREADY had this in his head as an option… no?
Don’t burn yourself out working fulltime & studying fulltime as well, take the Nanny job and I like the advice of when people ask your husband what his wife does for work, he can say he doesn’t have one anymore. He sounds like a peach to have around.
Post # 12
He expects you to take his class for him?
Take that job, girl, and ask for a higher hourly rate because you obviously already have experience taking care of a great big spoiled, judgmental baby.
I hope he grows enough in himself and his own insecurities that he can stop projecting them onto his partner and be proud of his wife.
Post # 13
Your husband sounds like a jerk. He wanted you to take a class for him??? WTF. And there’s nothing wrong with working as a nanny.
Post # 14
What kind of business is this, that requires its receptionist to get some kind of license?
First, it’s appalling that your in laws fired you. They’re also showing a remarkable lack of business savvy. Anyone who has ever owned a business knows that a good receptionist is priceless. In this era of voice mail and phone trees, getting a live person on the other end of the line is a real source of excitement. And your receptionist is JQP’s and other businesses’ first contact with company. A competent, pleasant, professional person in that position is worth a ton of good will.
Now, where does licensing fit into that?
As for your husband. At least we can see from whence he got his obnoxiousness. I, personally, don’t ever want to be around anyone who considers me less than.
I’m not sure that couples being employed at the same company is the best idea ever, but some make it work. Your husband, evidently, can’t. Take the nanny position. Your husband will be entirely willing to suck up the money generated by this gig that he thinks is beneath him.
And while we’re at it. What kind of lofty position in the business world would your husband be occupying if he didn’t have parents with their own business?
Post # 15
As a teacher I am appalled that he was expecting you to take his classes for him.
As a former nanny of ten years I am appalled that he looks down on people taking care of children and views them as ‘less than’.
As a wife I am appalled that he isn’t fully emotionally supportive while you are a student.