- 7 years ago
@brokenheartedbridetobe: I’m sorry, but getting this to stop is not anyones problem except for you and your fiance. You shouldn’t be contacting the woman in question, nor his coworkers/boss.
Look – he completely broke your trust. He has shown complete disregard for you even AFTER he’s been caught he still tries to sneak around you.
What would your friends/family say? Do you think they would want you to continue the wedding after knowing all this?
Canceling a wedding is cheaper than divorce. He’s already promised he’d stop once and didn’t. Let this one go and run the other direction.
@brokenheartedbridetobe: You need to leave. Simply leave. No need to get any sort of payback or “right his wrong”. Do it graciously and thank your lucky stars you found out now. Most importantly, if you decide to work this out, STOP the wedding and do NOT marry this guy.
I don’t think this situation has much to do with the other woman. Your Fiance stepped over the line. You called him out and he did it again. This is NOT the kind of man you want to marry. Just pack up your (or his things) and tell him that you need time apart at the very least.
At the very least, see a couples therapist.
Leave him. There is nothing you can do to make him not cheat.
@brokenheartedbridetobe: The only thing you need to worry about is leaving.
Again, this relationship is over. You need to leave.
You have tried to make it work, and he has continued to betray you. Do NOT marry him. This is a reflection of your forever future and you DO NOT DESERVE to be treated like this. Please, please, tell your mom and family and ask them to help you leave and cancel the wedding.
PS Dont worry about the wedding expenses. You havent had your shower yet, people can return gifts and you don’t need to feel guilty. Friends and family will ALL understand and support you through this.
I’m really concerned that your post is focused on the wedding and how to make him stop this behavior. Even if you do somehow manage to get him to stop, is this how you want to live your life? Constantly worrying that he’ll take up with another woman? Is having a wedding more important than having a real marriage?
You can’t make him stop. If he continues, it’s because he wants to. The question is, are you willing to put up with it?
Wow. Your fiance sent this woman over $2,000 worth of gifts from your shared money? He has lied to you and continued to contact her despite your requests? I don’t often subscribe to the ‘DTMFA’ philosophy, but given that he has betrayed you physically, emotionally and financially I think it might be time to cancel (or at the very least postpone) the wedding. You could try counselling, but I think you should make very clear to him that it is a last resort thing and you are one more lie away from walking out the door.
I’m sorry. But you need to put a stop on this wedding. If not forever, then certainly for right now. That is step 1. You cannot get married to this man, without a lot of reflection and changes made on his end. You cannot force this is anyway. It is 100% his decision.
Although she is clearly not a super classy lady, she bears no responsibility in this situation. You need to focus your energy on who the real problem is, which is your “fiance”. Do not try to get her to stop contacting him. Because that will not fix the problem.
You don’t control his actions at all. You only control your reactions. You need to react and let him know exactly what you will not tolerate. You must be serious in this threat. If he cannot or will not change then you can only either accept you will have a husband in name only. Or leave to find someone capable of being a good husband to you.
I need things to get better and know that he will be honest with me when it comes to him stopping this once and for all.
Unfortunately there is NO way you can ever know this, especially because he’s repeatedly lied to you and continued (continues) the affair even after you caught him.
I agree with the others – I think you dodged a bullet. Respect yourself enough to not put up with this selfish lying jerk. You need to leave him or at the VERY least, call off the wedding while you two go to counseling.
Honestly though, you should leave. It’d be one thing if it were a one-time mistake. But he is carrying on a full blown affair even after you found out and he promised to stop. That doesn’t bode well for the sanctity of your marriage 🙁
I’m really sorry. Get out now and find someone who will treat you like a queen because every woman deserves that!!
You can’t stop him. He’s made his choice. Please, don’t marry this man.
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