(Closed) Need advice: feeling awful about missing wedding ceremony for a good friend.

posted 5 years ago in Emotional
Post # 2
9527 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

Change it so it addresses the bride and email her this. We are all human, she should know this was not done on purpose. Accidents happen, if this was the biggest hiccup at the wedding then they are lucky. There is always something and this was beyond your control.

Post # 3
7416 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2014

Call her up and invite both her and her new husband over for dinner.

Post # 4
860 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2015

Say nothing. She probably didn’t notice. You saw her and supported her. Late happens.

as far as leaving early…if you were there 6 hours and speeches and dances hadnt started yet theN that’s just poor planning on the brides part. I imagine more people than you were bailing by then. Way too long.

Post # 6
1432 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2013


I flew 3 hours away to a friend’s wedding with my Darling Husband and Boyfriend or Best Friend. The day of the wedding, due to misreading the handmade map, taking a wrong turn and getting caught in construction, we missed the entire wedding, and made it only for the kiss at the end. I was bawling my eyes out in the car, I was so upset and embarrassed. We had flown in for this wedding and we missed it!

After confessing this to my friend at the reception, he was like, “We had no idea you guys weren’t there,” lol. I think that the bride and groom were probably way too distracted to notice you guys were missing. Plus, it was obviously unintentional, and you didn’t do it to be cruel.

Honestly, they were probably having such a blast that day that it probably didn’t make a difference that you missed the ceremony and left early!

Post # 7
7371 posts
Busy Beekeeper

Leave it alone, they probably weren’t aware.

Post # 8
1883 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

Miss_Mae:  it’s ok! one of my closest friends missed our short wedding ceremony because their taxi driver got lost. She was a lot more upset than I was – I was too happy and in the moment to notice or care 🙂 and I still love her! Sh*t happens, you know? 

Post # 9
5154 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2014

Miss_Mae:  One of my good friends missed my ceremony. She literally was walking up to the venue and we were walking back UP the aisle – if she hadn’t done that, I never would have known she missed the ceremony (afterwards, I told her she should have just hid in the car!). I think you’re probably making more of a big deal of it than she is – I never got an apology other than when she saw me (she said she got lost but is one of those people who is CONSTANTLY late). She also may not be so aware of everything that happened.

If I were you, I’d ask them to get together after their honeymoon and then talk about what a great time you had and how sorry you were that you had to leave a little early due to your ride. 

Post # 10
431 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2014

One of my DHs uncles was very late and missed the ceremony due to being lost. He apologized multiple times and was very upset. It didn’t bother us, I felt sorry for HIM he was so upset. Apologize and like someone said, invite them over!!

Post # 11
558 posts
Busy bee

I wouldn’t tell her you missed the ceremony, maybe just send her a little card saying congratulations and that you were sorry to have not been able to stay longer. If she says anything about the ceremony then you can explain, but otherwise I would assume she was pretty preoccupied with getting married! I think it would just make more of a mess to bring it up unless she vocalizes upset. I’m sorry that all happened to you and you had to miss so much but it sounds like little harm was done overall.

Post # 12
1318 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2014 - NH

Do you know when they are getting back from their honeymoon?  Maybe send them an invite once they get home saying that you’d love to have the new Mr. and Mrs. over for dinner?  Then at dinner just say something about being upset that everyone got lost on the way over, but that you are so happy for them and that you got to be there to see them on their special day.

Post # 13
2098 posts
Buzzing bee

My vote is to stay quiet. Been to many wedding where I barely see the bride and groom, it’s often the nature of the beast. She had a million things going on in her head and probably didn’t realize/notice you were late so why point it out. She wants to remember her day as perfect and fun for everyone, not something you are sad about. Try to hang out with her a few weeks after teh wedding to help ease her post-wedding blues and casually say “I barely got to see at the wedding! Tell me all about it from your perspective!” and just let her talk about her day as I bet a lot of peole aren’t interested in letting her rehash. In other words, show you are a good friend by continuing to be one, not by apologzing for some details out of your control she maybe deosn’t even know about. And cut yourself some slack. Your intentions are good, and this stuff happens– big parties nothing goes 100% smooth. 

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