Post # 1
I’m new to the site but not so new to weddings. My best friend got engaged a year and a half ago and is finally getting married May 27. I am a crafty person so I offered to pay for and create her centerpieces and table decor as my wedding gift to her. It has now turned into a side business and I am helping several brides with DIY weddings….ANYWAY
To give you some background my BFF’s Dad passed away when she was 6 from Muscular Dystrophy. Instead of favors they are making donations to the MDA and passing out lime green ribbons, to represent MD. We are extremely close and I want to do something else little but really special for a wedding gift I can give her the day of. I had thought of naming a star after her Dad and writing a letter about how he will always be looking down on her and her new family.
Do you think this is too down or depressing to give her on her wedding day? Not having her Dad here has hit her hard over the years. Any ideas, comments, suggestions are very very welcome
Post # 3
I think it is too emotional. She dosn’t want to cry and be sad. I think you could do somehting like that some time before the wedding.
Post # 4
i think that sounds like a great idea actually. but can i ask you if her mother remarried? my father passed away when i was a kid and i want to do something in memory of him, but my mom remarried and i’m still trying to figure it out. but if not, especially since she’s already opting to honor him with the favors, i think it’ll be a touching moment between you and her.
Post # 5
Maybe a good idea to present the letter to her at the rehearsal dinner? I agree, that might be a little too emotional for the wedding day. I know I’d start ballin and who knows for how long!
Post # 6
@hamachi: Hi date twin! I just wanted to offer a thought about honoring a parent who has passed after the living parent has remarried. My step-siblings’ mom passed away a few years before their dad met and married my mom. At my step-brother’s wedding, I thought they did a very nice rememberance of her. I’m paraphrasing, but the officiant said something about how in happy times we think of people we have loved that cannot be there, and how in this case a particularly special person, his mom, was especially missed. At that point, my stepbrother lit a candle for her that burned throughout the ceremony.
From the perspective of someone in the step-family, I thought this was touching and tasteful, while not putting a damper on the whole event or making my mom feel weird. A few tears were wiped away, and the ceremony moved on.
Anyway, just thought I’d share. Sorry for the loss of your dad, and good luck with these last few months of planning!
Post # 7
thanks for all the suggestions! They all help
And to hamachi of course you can ask. Yes her Mom got remarried but only recently…lets see my BFF and I met our freshman year of college and her Mom got engaged and married during our junior year of college and we’ve been best friends for 10 years so they have been married about 7 years now I guess, Wow, it seems like yesterday
My best friend was struggling with how to honor her step-dad and dad at the same time. She decided to have her mom and brother walk her down the aisle, have a dance with her step-dad, and she is having a dance with her Uncle who basically stepped in as the male figure in her life for father-daugher dances, first dates, etc….they are very close
Oh and I helping her plan her wedding and found this quote a while ago…she debated putting it in the programs, not sure if she has decided yet but thought I would share it with you guys in case anyone else could use it…warning a tearjearker…I still cry when I read it
If roses grew in heaven lord please pick a bunch for me.
Place them in my father’s hands and tell him they’re from me.
Tell him I love him and miss him and when he turns and smiles
place a kiss upon his cheek and hold him for a while.
Because remembering him is easy,
I do it everyday but there’s an ache within my heart because I’m missing him today.
When everything is said and done I will cherish this day with a smile
because I know my daddy is here with me as I’m walking down the aisle
Post # 8
such a lovely poem but yeah
Post # 9
I think the fact that you guys are doing a charitable donation to MD and giving out green ribbons should be enough that it won’t be too sad, but I wouldn’t do much more other than maybe a moment of silence. Our officiant is going to say (this is from our ceremony that she sent us):
“At this time we’d like to take a moment of silence to remember those who are not here with us.
Even though they are not here physically, they are part of the foundation that makes Miss Pomapoo and Mr. Pomapoo the people they are today and we acknowledge their presence here with us in spirit.
Lets now take a moment of silence to honor and hold in our hearts all those who have passed.
( Moment of Silence here)
Please cherish the memories of these friends and family and all others who live on in our hearts.