(Closed) Need advice from other stepmoms please!

posted 7 years ago in Parenting
Post # 3
1281 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

@jiffy21:  First off, I’m so happy to hear how loving you are of your step children.  My SD is 5 years old and I met her when she was 3.  It’s been a tricky couple of years navigating the step mom role, but I think I’ve finally got it down.  It really is a fine line between being loving and supportive and showing you respect the bio-mom’s role. 

I want to say that SD said “I love you” first to me, which definitely made it easier.  Since then, whenever I’ve said goodnight to her or goodbye we’ve always exchanged an “I love you.” 

I think with the two youngest kids, you could say it to them in a casual way when you put them to bed with their father.  “Love ya, bud.  Goodnight!”, or “g’night sweetie.  love ya”.  With the oldest daughter, who is starting to get to a very sensetive age, you might want to have a quick chat with her.  Maybe go for a walk or something and tell her how happy you are that you guys have a cool relationship.  (i.e. letting her know that you know your relationship with her is different than with her bio-mom) Thank her for being an awesome step-daughter and tell her you love her.  At that point, I’d monitor how she reacts to it.  She may have questions, or may ask her Dad questions, etc. 


Good luck!

Post # 4
7524 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2010

If you email with them you could use it as a sign off for the first time:

Love you,

“stepmom name”

That way it is introduced but not forced.  And see how that goes over.  Maybe having it introduced like that the first time where you dont have to witness the initial reaction would be easiest.

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