(Closed) Need advice, grandmother wants to wear her wedding dress to my wedding!

posted 8 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
3125 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2009

I love it! I think it’d be a hoot if your grandma were wearing her wedding gown, too. With a structured, tailored jacket it won’t look as bridal – more ladylike. I think it’d make great pictures too 🙂

Post # 4
Member
2867 posts
Sugar bee

whoa.  I thought it was common etiquette not to wear white to someone’s wedding.  I’d tell your mother that you’re uncomfortable and maybe have an Emily Post article for back up.

Post # 6
Member
406 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

I’d say lightly- “You know, I’d like to be the only gal wearing a wedding dress at my wedding” smile, smile, smile- they’ll get it.  And they’ll notice you said “gal”.

Post # 8
Member
1080 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2010

eep! You might not have anything to worry about. My grandmothers dress was in such bad shape that there would have been no way anyone could have worn it again……

Post # 9
Member
2867 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

I personally wouldn’t have a problem with a grandmother wearing white to my wedding if that’s what she wanted (it seems like it would be less of an issue with someone who is CLEARLY not the bride) but I totally get that you don’t want people to talk about her.

Maybe tell your mom and have her mention that people might talk about it to your grandmother. So it’s not like you’re telling her not to wear it but that but telling her some guests might think it’s inappropriate.

Post # 10
Member
4024 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

Tell your mom that it is innapropriate to wear her white dress to your wedding and that you aren’t comfortable with it. Either your mom can tell her she can’t (since she told her yes in the first place) or you can talk to her, tell her you are really sorry, but you aren’t comfortable with her also being in white on your wedding.

Post # 11
Member
2788 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: January 2011

I agree with FMILady.

Post # 12
Member
965 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

I think it’s cute. Let her do it. No one is going to confuse her for the bride!!!!

Post # 13
Member
3125 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2009

Couldn’t she get a pastel coat or something to go over the dress? Would that be enough of a compromise? i guess I can see where it’d be a problem, but the whole wearing white at weddings thing seems to be more controversial with someone your own age, or when a crazy Mother-In-Law wants to wear a white floor length gown. But for grandmas? I feel grandmas can do whatever weird stuff they want b/c they’re grandmas.

Post # 14
Member
1426 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

While I would never ever do this if I was your grandma, I don’t think you need to worry about it.  The dress isn’t full length, so unless you are wearing a short dress too, it won’t look like there are two brides.  Plus adding a jacket will make it even less bridal.  I have a lot of sympathy for her because it can be really hard for older women to find an outfit that makes them feel beautiful rather than matronly. Is your dress lace? because if not, then there’s another way yours will stand out.

Plus you don’t even know if it will happen.  She might not fit in it anymore, or she might find that the alterations she wants will be too pricey to be worth it.  I would wait and see if it is still bothering you i a couple days.  If you really aren’t comfortable with it and don’t think you can get comfortable with it, then you should say something because you don’t want to have that resentment on your wedding day.  Maybe you could offer to go out shopping with her or something.  However I wouldn’t worry about what others would say/think.  We’ve all seen that clueless guest wearing white at a wedding and generally brushed if off.  I doubt her dress will be the talk of the wedding like you fear…

Post # 15
Member
860 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

I wouldn’t have a problem with it, but I understand where you are coming from.  Can she have it dyed?  If so, you might suggest how nice she looks in red, blue, pastels etc.

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