Post # 1
Helloooo Bees, and happy Friday!
I have a not-SO-weird wedding situation but I am hoping you guys can help me with an idea or two. We are having a pretty casual wedding – camping, cabining, daytime ceremony and afternoon/evening BBQ/lawn game reception. I am super excited about it but the most important part is who will actually MARRY us because we aren’t at all religious.
We first asked FI’s BIL because he once considered being a priest. We thought this would be a nice way to give him an opportunity to have something sacred in that realm of duties but he regretfully declined because his religion prevented him to (apparently you have to meet certain requirements and we missed them ALL – oops). We threw out some names, including one of my ‘maids but he is more interested in the ‘maid duty. Cool beans.
My mother proposed my aunt who will be travelling alone. This woman has a dry sense of humor and just recently redid her vows in Vegas with Elvis presiding, which was what she wanted to do waaaaay back when she got married. So she’s pretty much a riot. It has taken some convincing for my fiance because he know feels that his family has no involvement. My father is walking me down the aisle, my mom is MOB, and my aunt is presiding.
Bees, is there anything special that we can have his family do? Please don’t say the guestbook as it’s a thumbprint tree and it’s really casual so they would be standing there for hours while everybody else pretty much drank beer and played bocce ball. My mom has been a little weird and said that she is handling rehearsal dinner (which I agree is not really her ‘area’ and she might be stepping on toes’), but I wanted to give the ILs some options when I see them for dinner on Sunday.
Post # 3
What about a joint officiant? Maybe someone from his family welcomes the guests and asks who gives the bride etc, and your Aunt does the vows and rings, and they both say you may kiss the bride? A lot of couples choose readings during the ceremony, his family could handle those. (They usually aren’t read by the officiant) Even if his family member has a different style from your aunt it could make the ceremony a nice blend of sweet sentimental and funny. Otherwise I think I would try to ask several of his family members to give toasts at the reception.
Post # 4
You could also have somebody in his family read a nice poem or give a very short story about the two of you. If you go the story route I’m sure somebody will have a funny one they’d love to share.
Are you doing any sort of unity ceremony? We’re having a non-denominational ceremony, but we are doing a unity candle because we like the idea of what it represents with the two families coming together in one couple. Each of our mothers will light our candles. Our officiant is going to say something about what the unity candle means and mention that our mothers lit them for us. You could do the same with other similar ceremonies (like sand).
Post # 5
@nikkialys: I really like that idea!! His step father would make a really sweet and gracious ‘host’ for the ceremony. Thank you so much. 🙂
@FloretteLiz: Eh, we pretty much think that our vows….which I am 90% certain will make everybody bawl, are the unity enough. I appreciate it though.
Post # 6
can his parents walk him down the aisle?/he walk them to their seats?
Post # 7
@bearlove: I would LOVE that idea, but I think he has a different idea about our wedding. Thank you for the idea, I will totally recommend it.
Post # 8
I know you said casual, but are you having ushers? If your GMs aren’t the ushers but he has some male family that might want to be included, that’s a way.
I always have liked the ideas the PPs suggested – having someone do the “Welcome” and a reader/story person.
Do your ILs know that your mom wants to cover Rehearsal Dinner and are they cool with that? I know my Father-In-Law would have been superbly happy, but others aren’t like that. Lol.
Also keep in mind that it just doesn’t always work out “evenly.” One of you may have more guests due to a larger family or have more people involved because you have more siblings or something. Darling Husband has a much larger extended family than I do, but I have more siblings, so that sort of evened us out, ya know?
Post # 9
Well, we went out of town and the moms had a chat and now his mom is covering Rehearsal Dinner again. So I guess all has been saved. For now…
@AmeliaBedelia: That’s what I keep saying. They get the fun kick-back part. Everybody is going to be fraught with nerves!