- 9 years ago
- Wedding: September 2009
hi everyone, here’s my situation:
originally I wanted a small bridal party (1-3 ppl) so it’s simple/no fuss and also the ceremony site is rather small considering 200 seated guests.
I have 2 sisters (sister#1 is Maid/Matron of Honor, sister#2 was supposed to be Bridesmaid or Best Man, she is much younger and was not thrilled about having to be a Bridesmaid or Best Man – take on responsibilities, buy a dress…etc.) so my plan was to have sister#1 and 2 close friends as BMs.
As the planning progressed my younger cousin was really proactive about offering to help and so was FI’s younger sister. i wanted to include them in the wedding somehow.
since the guestbook will be a polaroid scrapbook (I figured this is more fun/interactive) it may need more than 1 guestbook person to take pics/tape down photos/put away gifts. so I thought of having sister#2, FI’s little sister and cousin all be in charge of this. (i liked the idea of having a sister from each side of family there to greet the guests and they are all similar in age I thought they wouldn’t mind doing this together).
The 3 younger girls (sister#2/cousin/FI’s sister) are still considered BMs as they will have coordinating dresses to match the rest of the BMs and they will also be included in all the bridal party gatherings, hair/makeup, Bridesmaid or Best Man gifts…etc. the only difference is they will be greeting guests at the guest table instead of standing next to me during ceremony.
sister#2 was very upset that I had assigned her to guestbook.<span class=”Apple-tab-span” style=”white-space: pre”> and felt snubbed. I told her she is still considered my Bridesmaid or Best Man and just as important as all the others but she can’t get over it and now refuses to be any part of the wedding – would rather attend as a guest. and has said that it’s too late to have her stand next to me because she’ll think it’s out of pity now and she won’t want it anymore.
I don’t understand WHY guestbook seems like such a crappy job? I thought it would be fun for the younger girls to help out with the ‘scrapbook’/guestbook. i’m sure once everyone is seated they can all come up and stand next to me when the ceremony proceeds, anyway. (i plan on a quick ceremony… 10-15 min)
I’m really bothered by this and have tried to reason with sister#2 to let her know my intentions were not to hurt her or make her seem any less important. I thought it was a great idea to have both our little sisters work together.. but apparently she can’t get over it.
Am i just clueless about the bridal party hierarchy? because I really didn’t see it as a hierarchy. sister#1 was chosen as Maid/Matron of Honor because she does take on A LOT more tasks and helps me manage everything. sister#2 understands this. she just hates the idea of being placed with FI’s sister and cousin.. and maybe because the media makes guestbook seem like such a lame task! 🙁
really appreciate any FEEDBACK on this!! I’ve never been a part of anyone else’s bridal party so i’m not familiar with any unspoken rules? i may be completely blind-sighted about this situation…… thanks!