(Closed) NEED ADVICE; Living situation post wedding

posted 6 years ago in Home
  • poll: What would you do?
    Father's Rental : (11 votes)
    65 %
    Buy your own : (6 votes)
    35 %
  • Post # 3
    1021 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    Sounds like an ideal situation to me. I can understand your fiance feeling uncomfortable, but he’s your dad and he wants to help you out. If your Fiance really feels indebted to him, maybe you two could get your dad a small gift to show your appreciation?


    Post # 4
    10851 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: September 2010

    Ummm do it! That’s a super generous offer! You’re so lucky you have family that can help in this way, and I’m sure they don’t see it as a favour at all! Would it make your Fiance feel better if he could act as building manager or offer to help around the building in some way? Make it more like he’d be doing your dad a favour by being there to deal with any tenant issues that may arise?

    Post # 5
    16213 posts
    Honey Beekeeper

    Honestly? That deal sounds amazing! I think it is absolutely worth it to move into your father’s rental for the meantime. Your father wouldn’t be offering you this deal if he was going to hang some kind of debt over your heads for the rest of your life. I mean, I don’t know your parents, but they don’t sound like the type.

    My husband and I wouldn’t even hesitate to take my parents up on a deal like this. That way, you can save so you can get a home you REALLY want instead of just buying out of urgency.

    Post # 6
    502 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2012

    I honestly think that you should consider your financial situation. Is your Father trustworthy to hold that amount of money? I would hope so, just a thought. Do you have plenty of money in savings? I would just suggest that you guys get in great financial shape before you purchase a home. Fiance & I just purchased a home, and paid about 10k in closing costs, not including the down payment. The seller paid our realtor fee, and several other fees. Not to mention the 2.5k that we spent at Home Depot to buy a bunch of stuff that Fiance said we “needed.” If you don’t put 20% down as a down payment you are looking at PMI (post mortgage insurance), which adds about another $100 (guestimate) to monthly costs. I would use a loan calculator and find out about how much you would pay monthly+taxes & insurance. If you’re not financially ready, I think you should rent your dads place, plus you’re essentially living there for free!!

    Post # 7
    3182 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2012

    It does sound like a good deal.  The only thing that would rub me the wrong way is your Dad holding onto your money.  If you all are getting married and thinking about buying a house, you should be responsible enough to save up on your own without your father policing that.  But I’m sure he is just trying to help. 

    Post # 8
    129 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: May 2012

    It may be worth it to stay at the rental, as long as you’ve established boundaries with your father.

    Post # 9
    4520 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: September 2010

    If your fiancé is uncomfortable doing it, I would proceed very carefully. This type of situation could cause your Fiance to feel a lot of resentment in the long run. 

    It may be too late for this, and it’s not really my business, but I would look into cutting your wedding budget and diverting some of those funds toward your housing budget. 

    Post # 10
    18643 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2009

    If you don’t have much money saved, I think this is a great idea.  The wedding will take a lot of cash and it sounds like you will need to save up again for a downpayment and money for repairs.

    Post # 12
    4371 posts
    Honey bee

    That’s a great deal your dad is offering! I would take it, and I’m sure your dad is happy to be able to help you guys get on your feet.

    Post # 13
    1659 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: July 2012

    My best friend’s hudband’s parents bought their condo with cash, so friend and her Darling Husband write a check each month to the parents and the parents have been putting that money into an investment fund to be used on a down payment for their “forever home”. 

    They’ve been in the condo for three years, and now that interest rates are low and prices are awesome for the areas thry want to buy in, they’re ready. His parents are not willing to release the money to them so they can buy a house because they think prices will continue to drop, because they think they could accrue more profit in the investment fund, and because they don’t want my friend and her Darling Husband living in the suburbs. 

    My friend is miserable right now – the condo that she lives in and pays for isn’t even in her name, and her ILs have complete control of the three year’s payments they’ve been making. She knows tht with this arrangement they’ll have much more money to put down on a nicer house, but she’s so frustrated that she and her Darling Husband can’t make the decision and control the process independently. That might be what your Fiance is feeling…you trust your dad tmake involved and make these decisions with/for you, but it might be hard for your Fiance to be as on board as you are.

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